


You Still Make Sense To Me

by amory



Series: Your Mess Is Mine [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Each chapter can be read as a self contained oneshot/timestamp for the series, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Famous Harry, Fluff, Journalist Louis, Kid Fic, M/M, Non-Famous Louis, Ordinary Louis, Past Child Abuse, Past Drug Use, Pet Names, just so so much fluff, very little angst but there will be some
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-11-16 23:39:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amory/pseuds/amory
Summary: Harry, Louis, and their family navigate life together through the years.





	1. 19.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of Harry, Louis, and Noah's life in the year between the engagement and the wedding.

Louis wakes Harry up in the middle of the night by hitting him over the head with a pillow and shouting, “Harold!”

Harry groans and wrenches his eyes open. “What the fuck?” he mumbles, hoping this is all some strange dream he’s having.

Beside him, Louis flips the lamp on his bedside table on. Harry rolls over to see Louis is sitting up against the headboard with his laptop in front of him, glasses perched on his nose and frowning.

“I’ve been trying to wake you up forever,” he says, taking the pillow he hit Harry with and putting it behind his back.

“Louis, it’s three in the morning,” Harry replies, just in case Louis isn’t aware. “And you hit me with a pillow, why the hell did you hit me with a pillow?”

“Because it’s important,” Louis shoots back. “I have something important to tell you.”

Harry groans and falls back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wishing he could fall back asleep now. “Are you on pinterest again?” he asks, though he already knows the answer. Ever since they’ve decided to forgo a wedding planner, Louis’ vice has become pinterest. Who would’ve thought, really.

“You have work tomorrow, love,” Harry reminds him. “You can’t be up all night looking at place settings and string lights.”

Instead of answering that question, Louis just says, “I want you to adopt Noah.”

Harry jolts up, feeling far more awake now. “What?” He asks, breathless.

“I want you to adopt him,” Louis says clearly.

They both just stare at each other for a moment, Harry at a complete loss for what to say. Louis is biting his lip and looking nervous, as if Harry would ever say no to this.

“Where is this coming from?” Harry asks.

Louis shrugs, eyes drifting to his laptop for a moment before he shuts it and pushes it away. “I wasn’t on pinterest, so excuse you,” he mumbles. “It just…it doesn’t matter how much you love him and how much you are his father, you have basically no rights Harry. I’ve been reading all these awful stories about step-parents and things and it’s just-what if something happens to me? Or to Noah? And you have no rights, and-”

“Lou, hey,” Harry whispers, stopping Louis’ frantic rambling with a hand on his shoulder. “Baby, nothing’s going to happen to either of you.”

“But you don’t know that,” Louis says, picking at the duvet. “And if something ever did happen, I want you to have rights to your son.”

Despite the seriousness of what they’re talking about, Harry smiles. Nothing makes him happier these days than hearing those words, saying those words. _My son._

_My son, Noah. My husband and I, and our son Noah-_

“Harry, have you fallen asleep with your eyes open again?” Louis asks, jabbing him in the shoulder.

Harry shakes his head. “No, sorry, no. I’m fine. Of course I want to adopt Noah, love. You never even had to ask, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“It’s going to be complicated though,” Louis replies. “It’s a lot of paperwork, and meeting with case workers, and-”

Harry silences him with a kiss. Louis smiles softly and leans on Harry’s shoulder when they pull away. “Baby,” Harry whispers, running a hand through Louis’ hair. “Noah’s worth it. We’re worth it. I’d do anything, okay?”

Louis nods and reaches out to touch Harry’s hand. Harry’s wearing his ring, as always. Unlike any normal person, he never takes it off.

“We have to talk to him about it.”

Harry nods and reaches out for Louis’ laptop, which he quickly puts on his bedside table, far from Louis. “Not tonight,” he says. “Because it’s three in the morning and you have work in a few hours, you need sleep.”

“Fine,” Louis grumbles. “But admit it, this was an important conversation.”

Harry laughs and leans over Louis to turn the light out. They lay down together, Harry reaching out to gently run his hand through Louis’ hair once more. Louis closes his eyes, leaning into the touch and humming happily.

“It was,” Harry agrees. “But it would've still been an important conversation in the morning, unlike your secret not so secret wedding board.”

Louis sighs. “I regret showing you that,” he mumbles. “That's my secret shame, and you've spoiled it.”

Harry laughs and kisses Louis’ forehead. “I think it's cute,” he says. “It's going to be a beautiful wedding, baby. Whatever you want, you'll have it.”

“Go to sleep, you'll spoil me,” Louis says with a yawn. “Goodnight, darling.”

Harry smiles back and gently takes Louis’ glasses off for him. The realization that this is how his life is _always_ going to be now could almost make him cry, but instead he just kisses Louis’ sleep warm cheek and keeps those thoughts to himself.

“Goodnight, my love.”

 

* * *

 

Harry is walking toward the gates of Noah’s school but he can already hear the boy talking.

“Yes, he's really tall,” Noah's telling someone. “And he's got long hair, and tons of tattoos you know. Got my name on him, even.”

He turns the corner to see Noah standing in the middle of a group of kids. It's always like that with him, Harry's noticed. Noah's so much like Louis, a natural leader, always the loudest one, trying to get everyone in on whatever it is he's doing and usually succeeding.

“Papa!” Noah yells when he spots Harry.

And then all of the other children around him start yelling, “Hi Harry!”

Harry's a bit shocked for a moment, but doesn't get to think of a good response because Noah is throwing himself into his arms.

“These are all my friends, Papa,” he says, settling himself so he's sitting on Harry's hip. “I'm telling them all about you and how we're having a wedding.”

Harry smiles. “I'm sure they're loving that, bean.”

Noah reaches it for Harry's arm and twists it to show everyone. “Look, see?” He says, pointing to the tattoo on Harry's bicep. “That's my name, forever and ever.”

All the children let out a chorused _Ooh_ and Harry knows Louis is going to love this when he hears about it. Noah smiles at them all, looking quite proud of himself, and releases Harry's arm.

“Bye everybody!” He calls once Harry starts carrying him away.

They all shout goodbyes back to him and Noah grins.

“You've quite a lot of friends, don't you bean?” Harry asks.

Noah nods. “Yeah, just cause everyone thinks I'm pretty cool,” he says. “I like having tons of friends.”

Harry laughs and kisses his temple before letting him down. They hold hands the entire walk back, Noah skipping along at his side and talking all about the things they're learning in nursery. Harry listens intently, commenting in all the right places and letting Noah go on and on about the art he's brought home for Louis.

They're greeted at the door by Stanley and his one eye, much to Harry's disdain. What first started as a joke turned into a reality when Natalie realized bringing a cat overseas is a bit ridiculous and Stanley's vet essentially said the stress of the plane might kill the poor bastard. Noah, however, is absolutely loving their new addition.

“Hello, Stanley!” He sing songs, picking the cat up under its arms and dragging it along with him through the house.

Harry winces as he watches, always ready to spring into action just in case the cat comes to its senses and claws Noah's eyes out. He hasn't yet, and actually seems pretty content in his new home. Well, he loves cuddling up with Noah at night and growling at Harry and Louis when they read bedtime stories, but Harry supposes that’s a sign of contentment.

Noah sits on the couch and puts Stanley in his lap. He scratches the cat behind the ears and Stanley lets out what could possibly be a purring noise, were he a normal cat and not some kind of Frankenstein's monster.

“Are you glaring at that cat again?”

Louis whisper sends shivers down Harry’s spine. He wraps his arms around Harry's waist and leaves a kiss at the base of his neck.

“I'm telling you Lou,” Harry mutters. “He's going to snap one of these days and go on a killing spree.”

Louis laughs and squeezes Harry's sides. “I'm kind of loving this vendetta you have with the cat.”

“I hate you,” Harry replies.

That just makes Louis laugh harder. They both watch from the doorway for a bit, just smiling at Noah. He has a book he's brought home from school in his lap and he's reading it to Stanley.

Well, he's trying to read it, but he mostly ends up explaining the pictures and just making up own story. Still, both men watch on with similar proud expressions.

“You should've seen him,” Harry says to Louis. “He had all of his friends at school out there, he was telling them all about me.”

Louis smiles at his son and shrugs. “He's proud of you, love. He tells me all the time, you know.”

Harry raises his eyebrows. “Does he?”

“Noah,” Louis calls, finally calling attention to themselves. “What were you telling me the other day, about the kids at school?”

Noah grins. “No one’s got a Papa like me, I'm the only one. And my Papa is super good at singing, everyone thinks he's really cool like I do.”

“Told you,” Louis whispers, elbowing Harry as he passes by. He sits down beside Noah, which immediately prompts Stanley to yowl and run away to god knows where. Harry caught him sleeping behind the fridge a few days ago, and he's still confused as to how Stanley even fit back there.

Noah goes through the same after school routine he does every Friday, which includes dumping everything out of his bag including Hank onto the floor. He and Louis then sit down and start to go through it all while Harry goes into the kitchen to make himself and Louis a cuppa. He returns to find his two boys sorting through Noah's many drawings and laughing.

“Look at this one,” Louis says when Harry comes to sit down beside him. “Your hair looks positively lovely.”

His hair looks ridiculous in the crayon drawing and Noah's made him an absolute giant compared to everyone else in it, but Harry still smiles and takes it. He takes a picture of it to send to his mum who will surely love it.

They're going through Noah's work practicing letters when Louis gives him a look. Now’s the best time, then. Harry nods back and Louis smiles.

“Noah,” Louis says. “Do you think we could talk about something?”

Noah nods. “Okay Daddy, what is it?”

“Well Harry and I have been talking,” Louis says. “And we were wondering how you might feel about Harry adopting you?”

Noah frowns for a moment before asking, “What's it mean?”

“Adoption means that Harry would officially be your other dad.” Louis explains.

That just makes Noah's eyebrows furrow. “But he's already my other dad,” he says, looking at Harry with confusion in his eyes.

“I am, darling, of course I am,” Harry says quickly. “It's more of an adult thing, adoption. It's to make sure if something ever happened to Daddy or I, you'd be taken care of. If I adopt you then everyone will know you're mine, not just us, and Daddy and I would be equal.”

“Oh,” Noah says, thinking it over for a moment. “Well that's good, then. Doesn't change anything, and I still got my Papa. Good to be equal.”

Louis nods, dragging a hand through Noah's curls. “That's absolutely right darling. So, you like the idea?”

Noah nods and the asks, “Do I gotta change my name?”

“Of course not, love.”

“But what if I wanna?” Noah asks.

Louis’ hands stutter and he looks shocked. “Baby, what?”

“Well you're gettin’ a new name,” Noah explains. “And Papa’s getting a new name too, why don't I get one?”

Harry looks to Louis, completely lost for what to say. In the brief amount of time he's been a father, Noah's become quite good at leaving Harry speechless. Neither of them had thought this would happen.

They actually have only had this conversation once, and it was brief. They're changing their names for themselves only, to belong to one another, and it’s just a hyphenation, nothing major. Harry Styles is always going to be Harry Styles to the world, and Louis isn't changing his name on his writings for the sake of consistency. They’ve never talked about what they would do with kids, though, if they have more.

And what if those kids _do_ have a different last name? Is Noah going to feel left out?

“I think,” Louis starts. “That that is a very big decision to make, my darling, and we should think about it more before we decide anything. Just like adoption, okay? You don't have to decide anything right this second, I want you to think about it and ask any questions you might have for me and Papa.”

Noah nods and then says. “I just want to belong to my Papa too.”

It breaks Harry's heart and before he knows it, he's reaching for Noah and hugging him tight. “Bean,” he whispers. “You always will, okay? No matter what, you'll always be my baby, and I'll always be your Papa.”

“I know,” Noah sighs. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Harry whispers into his curls.

Louis watches them with a smile and leans over to kiss Harry. Sometimes Harry thinks the sheer amount of love he feels for his two boys could make his heart just burst.

“Alright boys, let’s get dinner on,” Louis says, clapping his hands together. “Noah, go find Stanley before he chews through another pair of Papa’s boots.”

Noah gasps and scrambles out of Harry's lap yelling, “Stanley, no! Bad cat!” At the top of his lungs.

“Christ,” Louis mutters, rolling his eyes. “He’s loud.”

Harry smiles at the irony and says, “Yeah, no clue where he gets that from.”

 

* * *

 

Louis and Harry walk into the house hand in hand and Louis immediately wrinkles his nose. Harry of course sees it coming, because Louis has made that exact face at the last four houses they’ve seen.

He sighs loudly and says, “Louis, love, we’ve barely seen it. You can’t hate it just yet.”

“I don’t hate it,” Louis lies, taking his hand from Harry’s so he can walk into the absolutely massive house.

It’s freezing inside, but not empty like so many they’ve seen before. Someone’s set it up to look like a nice clean house Harry knows he’ll never have with Louis and Noah around. He’s come to terms with that, though, with the mess his two boys seem to bring with them wherever they go.

This house is bigger than any of the other houses they’ve seen, with more bedrooms and bathrooms than they could ever reasonably need. Harry wanted to see it mostly to prove a point to Louis-point being that this entire spur of the moment house hunt has been ridiculous-but Louis doesn’t seem to care.

“Baby, you know I love you, but you’re killing me,” Harry sighs as he follows Louis through the kitchen. “We don’t have to move, I’ve told you a million times that I’ll move in with you.”

“We have to move,” Louis replies, just as he’s been saying for the past two weeks. “The house is too small, we need something bigger.”

Harry groans, “Louis-”

“I just don’t see why we have to look at such _big_ houses,” Louis interrupts, running his hand over the curved stair railing as they pass by. “They’re so big and cold, and the floors here are all wrong. There’s a step up into the dining room, someone’s going to fall.”

Harry smiles. “I know I’m a bit uncoordinated, but seriously Lou.”

“A baby would fall and crack their head open on it, Harold, do try to keep up,” Louis replies, and then he’s walking away again like what he’s just said means nothing.

They’ve been engaged for three months now, but moving wasn’t discussed at all until Louis brought it up while they were lying in bed together two weeks ago. As with most things, Louis said the idea out of nowhere, with no prompting from anyone but himself.

“We need to move,” he’d announced.

And now here they are, because Harry loves him, and loving Louis sometimes means doing ridiculous things like house hunting for what exactly, he still isn’t sure. He doesn’t know what it is that Louis wants, because Louis won’t tell him.

Harry soon finds himself alone in the house and walks in the direction Louis fled to. His fiancé is standing at the door to the back garden and frowning.

“What do you mean a baby?” Harry asks.

Louis jolts, obviously surprised by Harry’s presence. He shrugs his shoulder, cheeks going red, and says, “Well you want more kids, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Harry says quickly. “But we haven’t talked about this at all, Lou. Is that what this whole house thing is about? You want more kids?”

Louis just shrugs once more. “I can’t just want to move?”

“No, Lou, you can’t,” Harry laughs. “Baby, you love your house, and you know I’m fine with moving in and selling my flat. This whole thing has made absolutely no sense to me up until now.”

Louis sighs, sounding incredibly put out. “Fine, okay? I want more kids. Noah’s getting older and I want him to have brothers and sisters, but there’s no way we’re fitting more people into my house.”

“I see,” Harry says, a smile tugging at his lips. “Well then, I guess this house won’t do.”

“No it won’t,” Louis agrees.

Harry nods and then reaches out for Louis’ hand. He pulls Louis in, wrapping his arms around his waist. “I’m taking over,” he decides.

“What?”

“I’m going to start looking for places,” Harry continues. “And I’m buying you a house.”

Louis looks shocked. “Harold, you are not buying the house on your own-”

“Of course I am,” Harry interrupts him. “Because it’ll be the first and last big thing you ever let me buy you. Louis, please. I want to buy you a house, I want to buy somewhere for our family, somewhere for our kids to grow up, somewhere that’s just for us.”

Louis bites his lip, looking torn. He doesn’t like to be spoiled, and Harry can respect that, but this is different. He wants to do this for them, for the family they have and the even larger family they’re going to have someday. It's something he's been waiting his whole life to do and he doesn't want to pass up the opportunity now.

“Pinky promise,” Louis says, finally.

“What?” Harry laughs.

Louis shoves his hand out and extends his pinky. “Pinky promise, the first and last big thing you’ll ever buy me.”

“Fine,” Harry decides. “Pinky promise, the house is it.”

Louis nods and they tug their pinkies together. He smiles, just a bit, and then says, “Well, Harold, you better start providing for your family.”

They leave the house soon after, Louis squeezing Harry’s hand on the way out to the car.

“You mean it, you really want more kids?” Harry asks once they’ve pulled away, because he needs to be sure he hasn’t just imagined all of this.

Louis nods. “Not now, obviously,” he says, and it’s obvious he’s been thinking about this quite a lot. “But after we’re married, yes.”

“How, though?” Harry asks.

Louis looks away from the road for a moment and smiles at him. “How do _you_ want a baby, love?”

“I don’t care really,” Harry admits. “It doesn’t matter how they get here, I’m going to love them no matter what.”

Louis sighs. “I think I’d like to adopt,” he says.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis says. “There’s so many kids out there that need a home, H. They need someone to love them, and I’ve always loved the idea of being that for them. _Us_ being that for them. Even just like fostering kids is something I’d like doing.”

Harry hums. “I've never thought about fostering,” he says.

“You'd end up adopting all of them,” Louis teases. “But I don't think I'd be much better.”

Harry smiles and then says, “Any child would be lucky to have you as a dad, Lou.”

“I could say the same for you, baby,” Louis says, bringing Harry's hand to his lips. “I love you, H.”

“I love you too.”

 

* * *

 

Noah sits in Harry’s lap, looking down at the sound board and frowning. 

“What's this one do?” He asks.

Harry hums and flips the switch Noah’s pointing to. “Turns the microphone on and off so they can hear me in there.”

“That's good,” Noah decides. “And what’s this one do?”

Harry proceeds to explain what every little thing does in the studio, even the things he himself isn't completely sure of. Noah nods at all of it, commenting on everything and pressing a few of the buttons himself.

“I'm pretty good at this,” he decides.

Harry laughs and kisses his temple. “You definitely are, bean. Are you ready to play?”

“For sure,” Noah says. “C’mon Papa!”

They're alone in the studio, just the two of them, because Noah is too nervous to play his guitar in front of anyone just yet. Well, anyone besides his family and Niall and Liam. He's learning piano now as well, something Louis has been teaching him since Harry bought him a keyboard for Valentine's Day just to see him smile.

Noah sits on the stool in the recording studio while Harry sets the microphones up in front of him. He has his little acoustic guitar in his lap and is carefully practicing the short tune Harry's taught him.

It isn't much, and it's going to be the acoustic part that plays before the song really starts and becomes more complicated. Harry thought it appropriate to have Noah play the intro with him, considering the fact that the song is about him.

Harry grabs his own guitar and sits beside Noah on another stool. “You ready, bean?”

“M’ready,” Noah says with a smile.

Harry grins back and says, “Count us in then, love.”

Noah nods and then says, “1, 2, 3, 4,” before carefully starting picking at his guitar along with Harry. He looks quite proud of himself when they finish and claps his hands.

“We did it, Papa!”

Harry smiles. “We did, bean. You were wonderful.”

“Thank you,” Noah giggles. “Now we can meet Daddy for lunch?”

Harry nods. “Come on, love.”

They drive to Louis’ work and walk inside to meet him hand in hand. They say hi to all of Noah's favorite people, like Zayn and Jade, before approaching Louis’ desk. He's obviously working on something but his friend Anna is sitting beside him watching. As always, she looks shocked to see Harry and lets out a small squeak that alerts Louis to them.

“Hello, loves,” Louis says. “How was going to work with Papa?”

Noah beams and says, “Daddy, it was the best! I heared so much music, and I even got to push a ton of buttons.”

Louis laughs. “I’m sure Harry loved that, darling. Are you here to take me to lunch?”

Noah nods and then smiles at Louis’ friend. “Hi! I’m Noah.”

“Hi Noah, I’m Anna,” she replies.

Noah’s eyes go wide and he says, “That’s almost my Papa’s mummy’s name! I say Nana Anne because it’s funny, but it’s even funnier when it’s Anna. It rhymes, I learned that at school.”

“I’m sure Anna will keep that in mind when she has grandchildren many, many years from now, Noah,” Louis teases. “Anna, love, I’ve left the papers on your desk yeah? I’ll be back in an hour, I promise. You’ll be fine.”

Anna nods, looking determined. “I’ll be fine,” she agrees. “Have fun, Louis.”

“I will love, call me if you have any questions okay?”

Anna just smiles and Louis gives her one last pat on the shoulder before picking Noah up and following Harry out.

“She’s terrified of me,” Harry whispers as they walk out of the office.

Louis laughs and nods. “She is. I like to show her embarrassing photos of you to try and show you’re a regular person, but I’m not sure it’s working. She’s going to be a stone statue at the wedding.”

“What do you mean embarrassing photos?” Harry asks.

Louis smiles. “Nothing too awful, but should you ever leave me they’re going to end up in Jade’s hands. Watch yourself Styles.”

“Good thing I'm never leaving,” Harry teases, tugging Louis in for a quick kiss. “You look lovely today, baby. I like your shirt.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “It's your shirt.”

“That's why I like it,” Harry laughs.

Noah reaches his arms up for Harry, always wanting to be the center of attention.

“Are you feeling abandoned, bean?” Harry teases, taking the boy out of Louis’ arms.

Noah shrugs and rests his head against Harry's shoulder. “I'm just sleepy,” he sighs.

“My poor darling,” Louis murmurs, reaching out to gently rub Noah's back. “Papa’s going to take you home after lunch and you can have a nap then, yeah?”

Noah nods and yawns. “I want pizza, Daddy.”

“Then pizza you'll get,” Louis decides.

They find place for pizza and wait at the table for it, Noah paying attention to the breadsticks and his drink more than anything else.

“H,” Louis murmurs. “I've got in touch with someone about moving forward with the adoption.”

Harry nods. “What's next then?”

“You have to start it,” Louis says. “Just so they don't think I'm surprising you or summat with a baby. And then we're getting a social worker who's going to come to the house and talk to Noah and the two of us.”

Harry smiles. “That's a bit terrifying. I'm going to have to clean, I hope you realize.”

Louis sighs loudly but smiles. “I suppose, if you must. Noah, did you hear what I said?”

Noah shakes his head. “You're whisperin’ secrets to Papa, Daddy.”

“It's not a secret,” Louis laughs. “Someone is going to come visit us at home to talk to you about Papa. Is that okay with you?”

Noah nods. “Are they going to see my dinosaurs? And Stanley?”

“God help them,” Harry mutters. “They'll say no just because of that cat.”

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “Ridiculous boy,” he teases Harry before turning his attention back to Noah. “I'm sure they'd love to meet Stanley, but they're probably going to be more focused on asking you questions about Papa and I and your life.”

“That's good then,” Noah says. “I love my life.”

Louis smiles and Harry reaches under the table to squeeze Louis’ thigh. “Me too, baby,” he sighs.

 

* * *

 

Between the wedding and work, Louis is swamped. They've pushed the date to next year, simply to give them some time to make decisions, but it still feels too soon. Louis cannot possibly get done everything he needs to in a year.

It's mid-June now and it's disgustingly hot out. Louis is sat in the office long after most everyone else has gone home, finishing up the article he's been working on all week. It's for his now new favorite band he only just met; they were positively lovely, and their sound was exactly what Louis loved. He managed squeezing in seeing them between looking at venues and visiting Harry at the studio, but now he's paying the price.

“Louis?”

Louis looks up and laughs when he spots Zayn. “Jesus mate, you scared me.”

Zayn smiles back. “Sorry, I saw you were still here. I need to talk to you.”

“Come here then, I'm almost finished.”

Zayn takes a seat beside Louis and watches him work. And then out of nowhere, he says, “Perrie’s pregnant.”

Louis’ hands stutter and he turns to look at Zayn with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

Zayn nods. “Yeah. She took a bunch of tests last night and we went to the doctor this morning to be sure and-yeah. She's pregnant.”

“Oh my god,” Louis breathes. “Oh my god, Zayn! Jesus, get in here, give me a hug.”

They hug and Zayn squeezes Louis’ arms. “I'm so scared,” he whispers. “Jesus, Lou, I can't do this. I can't be a father.”

“Of course you can,” Louis says. “You'll be wonderful, Z.”

Zayn shakes his head. “I don't know. God, fuck. I didn't think it would happen this fast.”

“Right,” Louis says. “We're going for drinks.”

He reaches out for his phone and quickly texts Harry, _Urgent shit with Zayn, we're going for emergency drinks. I'll be home after._

Harry writes back with, _okay, be safe please. I love you give Zayn a hug for me! xx_

“Let's go,” Louis says.

They walk out of the building together, ignoring the man not so sneakily snapping their photo a few steps away. Zayn puts his arm around Louis’ waist and frowns.

“That's annoying,” he mutters.

Louis nods. “Yeah, I know love. It's okay now, though. Hardly ever happens, this is the first time in weeks. The engagement got out.”

Zayn looks murderous. “What?”

“Z, babe,” Louis laughs. “It’s been months, I’m surprised it took this long. It would've gotten out eventually, Harry hasn't taken his ring off since we got it.”

Zayn shakes his head. “Fucking assholes, whoever did it. God that makes me so fucking mad.”

“It's okay,” Louis assures him, just as he had assured Harry when they found out. “It was either that or someone would've figured it out at the wedding.”

Zayn sighs and kisses Louis’ cheek. “I love you mate, y’know? I'm so happy this is working out for you.”

“Aww, Zayn,” Louis teases. “You've secretly been a sap this whole time, I knew it. All of that not reacting was just an act!”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “Never mind, I'm back to being stoic.”

“You can never take back your love from me,” Louis says.

“Right, I really need that drink now,” Zayn mutters.

They pick a little pub near their office, and Zayn immediately starts drinking. Louis limits himself to just a couple of sips of a pint, because he has to drive back home tonight. He finds himself hoping Harry manages to find a house a bit closer to work than the one they’re in now.

“You know we’ve been fighting a bit lately,” Zayn reveals once he’s knocked back a couple of shots. “Honeymoon’s over, I guess. And she’s been like really sick the past few days and I don’t know. She’s pregnant, she’s eight weeks along.”

Louis nods. “What are you going to do?” he asks carefully.

“I mean we’re keeping her, obviously,” Zayn says quickly. “It’s just…it’s shit, I guess, because I know I should be happier than I am but I’m just terrified.”

Louis smiles. “Her?”

Zayn’s cheeks go red under the pub lights and he coughs. “Yeah I just-like, I think it’s a girl. I mean, we’ll be happy either way but…I don’t know, it was a feeling. Jesus, Lou, how do you do this?”

“You just do it love,” Louis says, taking another sip of the shitty beer. “You just look into their eyes for the first time and that’s it, y’know? It’s immediate, or it was for me at least. The minute I saw Noah I knew I’d do anything for him.”

“But you’re so good at being a dad,” Zayn whines. “You’re just like a fucking natural at it, you always know what to do, and I know I’m not going to be like that.”

Louis laughs. “I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, Z. A lot of being a parent is just learning and pretending you know what you’re doing. You and Perrie have to have each other’s backs, you have to learn together. You’re going to be great parents, I’ve got one very lucky niece or nephew.”

That finally gets Zayn to smile. “Jesus, yeah. It hasn’t even set in yet, really. I’m going to be a father. Shit, Louis, _I_ _’m_ going to be a father.”

“Yeah, you are,” Louis says. “And you’ll be brilliant. I promise, I’ll be there to help whenever you need me. After everything you did for Noah and I when Luke left-”

“You don’t owe me for that,” Zayn is quick to say. “I did that because you’re my best mate, yeah? You’re my brother. I know you’d do the same for me.”

“I would,” Louis says. “But you won’t need me to. You and Perrie are going to be fine, it’s just a bump in the road. You’ll see, it’ll be brilliant. We’re going to have a million little kids running about, they’ll all be best mates just like us.”

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “Yeah? What are you trying to say, mate?”

Louis laughs. “Yeah, um, well you know how Harry is adopting Noah? We’re thinking that maybe after the wedding, we’d like to adopt more.”

“I knew it,” Zayn laughs. “I knew you two wouldn’t be able to stop having more-Jade owes me twenty quid.”

“You’ve been betting on when Harry and I are adopting?” Louis asks.

“There’s a pool at the office,” Zayn says. “I put my money on straight after the wedding, Jade said you’d give it a few years. Jesy said you’d try to adopt before you were even married.”

Louis shakes his head. “I don’t know why I tolerate any of you,” he mumbles.

“Because you love us,” Zayn laughs. He lifts his half empty pint and says, “To us, then. To our kids raising hell together, just like the two of us did.”

Louis smiles and raises his own glass, clinking them together and nodding. “To us.”

 

* * *

 

The transition from his old management to his new one has been jarring for Harry, to say the least.

They’ve just been so much more understanding than his old management since he signed, accepting Harry’s limits for his family when it comes to paps and promotion. When an article surfaces one day claiming Louis and a _mystery man_ were spotted all over one another, they handle it without a so much as a word.

Louis decides to handle it as well, posting a picture to his public twitter with his mystery man, Zayn.

“Oh my god, Louis,” Harry giggles when he sees it.

It’s of the two of them together, Zayn looking confused and Louis sitting happily on his lap, taken by someone at work. The tweet reads _I guess the secrets out! Sorry Pez, sorry Harry, we just can_ _’t resist one another!!_

Louis sighs. “I know,” he says dramatically. “Such a shame you had to find out this way, really.”

“Come here,” Harry laughs, pulling Louis down into his lap.

They sit in front of Harry’s computer together while he clicks around. Since he’s started working on his album, which is mostly finished at this point, he’s completely taken over Louis’ office. There are guitars he’s learned in play in the corner and a bunch of half written song ideas written on journal pages and littered around the desk. Harry kisses Louis’ neck and presses play on a track for him.

It’s always hard listening to his own voice back, but Harry suffers through it to watch Louis’ face.

_Sweet creature_

_Had another talk about where it's going wrong_

_But we're still young_

_We don't know where we're going but we know where we belong_

Louis smiles as the song goes on, nodding his head a bit. It finishes quietly and Harry waits patiently for Louis’ critique, as always.

“Are you calling me stubborn?” he asks, finally.

Harry rolls his eyes and groans. “Love, is that really all you’re getting out of that?”

“You called me stubborn!” Louis gasps. “How dare you, Harold, I’ve half a mind to really leave you for Zayn-”

Harry cuts him off with a kiss. Louis smiles and tangles a hand in Harry’s curls, tugging gently as he does.

“I called us both stubborn,” Harry whispers. “Because we are, but you especially.”

Louis laughs and kisses Harry once more. “Loved it,” he whispers. “It sounded beautiful. You’re doing brilliant, my love.”

“Well, I need that four star review,” Harry says, just to hear Louis groan. “I’ve heard that’s hard to get from _the_ Louis Tomlinson.”

“Shut up, Harold,” Louis says.

Harry nods and wraps his arm around Louis’ waist so he won’t leave. “There’s something else I want you to look at, though.”

While Louis stays sat in his lap, Harry clicks around on his computer again to get to his email. He finds the one he’s looking for and clicks, loving the way Louis’ breath seems to leave his body all at once.

“Oh, that’s lovely,” he murmurs.

It’s an old country house covered in vines, beautiful flowers peeking out now and then. Harry clicks through the next few pictures, showing Louis the inside which has been renovated but still has all the charm of an old house. There are five bedrooms, a giant kitchen Harry wanted the moment he saw it, a huge garden with enough room for the goal Louis would no doubt put up, a pool that is gated off from the rest of the property, and flowers everywhere.

“It isn’t on the market yet,” Harry reveals. “And it’s the perfect location, close to your work, but quiet, and there are great schools around. It’s an older couple, they raised all of their children there and they want to sell it to someone who’s going to love it like their family did. I’ve been in touch, we can see it Monday if we want.”

Louis looks through the pictures for himself for a couple of minutes, taking in the fireplaces and the tall ceilings. Harry’s already started thinking about where they could put a Christmas tree, how he can fit Louis’ desk in the sunny office, and the basement which would easily be converted to a studio. When Louis had trusted Harry with this house search, the only thing he had said was that he wanted somewhere that felt like home, and to Harry this feels like a home.

“It’s,” Louis starts, sounding breathless. That’s a good sign, Harry supposes. “God, Harry. Yes, please, let’s go Monday.”

Harry beams. “Did I do good, then?”

“Yes love,” Louis whispers, leaning down to kiss him. “You did perfect.”

 

* * *

 

Things move in a whirlwind after that. They see the house on Monday and close on Tuesday, neither of them having to really think about it for a moment. Noah takes the news much better than Louis thought he would, especially since he’ll have to start at a brand new school with none of his friends from nursery in the fall, but he loves their new house as soon as he visits for the first time.

They’ve made an agreement with the homeowners not to move in until August, which gives them a couple of months to start packing up and making arrangements to sell Louis’ house. It hurts, knowing he’s going to have to leave this place and all the memories in it behind, but Louis knows it’s for the better. They have years and years of new memories to make, the three of them.

In the midst of preparing to move and finalizing wedding details for next summer, Louis gets a call one day from their new case worker. She wants to meet them and Noah, and gives them only a day’s notice to panic.

“Noah,” Harry yells out. “Bean, please pick up your shoes, I’ve only asked ten times!”

Noah groans and stomps out into the living room. “Fine,” he mumbles, sparing a glance to Louis who is sitting peacefully on the couch. “Daddy, Papa is super crazy today.”

“That is a complete understatement, my love,” Louis laughs.

Despite the fact that the woman who decides whether or not Harry gets to adopt Noah is due to be here any moment, Louis is surprisingly calm. He knows they’re going to be fine, because anyone can see how much they all love each other. Anyone with eyes can see how happy Noah is, and how much Harry loves him.

Harry walks into the living room, hair a mess and frowning. “God, Lou, I think I’m going to hyperventilate,” he mutters.

“Love, come here,” Louis says, opening his arms for Harry to step into them. “It’s going to be fine, okay? You cleaned this poor house better than it’s ever been cleaned and you are _perfect_. We’re going to be fine.”

Harry nods his head and lets out a breath. “We’re going to be fine,” he agrees.

When the doorbell finally rings, just on time as she’d promised, Harry is much more calm than he had been. They open the door together, and Louis lets himself memorize this moment. Memorize the way Harry’s arm drapes around his waist and the nervous grin on Harry’s face and just how much he wants this.

Their social worker is nowhere near as terrifying as Louis worried she would be. She reminds Louis a bit of his mum when they open the door and find her standing there looking around Louis’ front garden.

“Hello!” she says with a big grin. “I’m Mary, you must be Louis, we spoke on the phone.”

Louis nods and finds himself smiling right back. “I am, and this is my fiancé Harry.”

“Hi,” Harry says, speaking a bit too quickly. “It’s so lovely to meet you, please come in, can I get you anything? Coffee, or tea, or water?”

Louis squeezes Harry’s waist and laughs. “Darling,” he murmurs. “Calm down, yeah?”

Harry nods and Mary smiles at the two of them. “I’m fine, but thank you,” she says. “You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you,” Louis says, because he knows she’s lying. Even with Harry’s cleaning, his house is still the same squat old thing with leaky pipes it’s always been. “We’re actually in the middle of a move, excuse the boxes.”

Mary smiles. “I remember you saying that, yes. I'd love to see your new home once you're settled in.”

“Of course,” Harry says quickly. “Noah should be around here somewhere, I don't know where he's gone.”

They walk into the spotless living room just in time to see Noah come running out of his room and skidding in. He’s wearing his penguin hat, because of course he is, and gives the three of them a huge smile.

“Hi!” he yells, waving wildly at Mary. “I’m Noah!”

Mary laughs. “Hello Noah, I’m Mary,” she says.

Noah nods. “I know, you’re here to talk to me about my Papa.”

“Is that what you call Harry?” she asks, and Louis supposes this is when the questions start.

“Yeah, he’s my Papa,” Noah says, pointing to Harry before pointing to Louis. “And he’s my Daddy. It’s just cause I got two, they have to have different names, or else we’ll be confused. It’s my idea, I’m very smart.”

Louis tries his best not to laugh and Mary looks like she’s doing the same. She compliments Noah on his idea before asking to see Noah’s room. His eyes go terribly wide and he gasps.

“Yes! My room is so cool, come on,” he says to Mary, leading her down the hall. “I got the _most_ dinosaurs!”

As soon as they’re gone, Harry lets out a huge breath.

“She seems nicer than I thought she’d be,” he says.

Louis laughs and kisses his cheek. “You did great, love, but try to take some pauses between your words next time yeah?”

Harry goes red and gently shoves Louis away. “Shut up, Lewis,” he mumbles, falling down onto the couch. Louis sits down beside him, still smiling, but stops teasing him.

Five minutes pass before Noah returns with Mary in tow. “Daddies,” he calls, pouting at the two of them. “I can’t find Stanley, he’s hiding from me.”

“Oh love,” Louis laughs. “Let Stanley be, he’ll come out if he wants to.”

Noah sighs. “But I really want to show my new friend,” he says. “I told her Stanley has a smush face and is very kinda mean, but he loves me a lot.”

“Maybe it’s better we don’t bring Stanley out,” Harry suggests.

Noah nods and then not so quietly whispers to Mary, “Papa’s scared of Stanley, only because he scratches him, and he eats Papa’s shoes.”

“He eats shoes?” Mary asks as she sits down on the couch opposite of Harry and Louis.

“He actually prefers boots,” Louis reveals. “Leather ones, mostly. The only person he likes is Noah, it’s actually kind of hilarious.”

Noah smiles proudly at that fact and sits at the coffee table, pulling out a coloring book and opening it up. He reaches for his crayons and starts coloring in a dinosaur while the three adults watch him for a moment.

“Well,” Mary starts. “Your room was very interesting Noah. How did you start collecting dinosaurs?”

Noah shrugs. “My Daddy and my Uncle Z got me Hank for when I’m born,” he explains. “And now I just have a whole ton. My Papa got me the giant big one in my room to cuddle with. It’s gonna go in my new room, Papa says, because I’m gonna have a dinosaur room.”

“I saw that,” Mary says. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a little tablet that she starts typing on. Harry freezes up at Louis’ side, obviously concerned as to what exactly she could be writing down.

“Does Harry buy you a lot of gifts, Noah?”

“Nah,” Noah says, mostly focused on his coloring. “Not unless he goes places. He buys me nice things from all the places he goes, because Daddy says I can’t go too. I gotta stay in school.”

Mary nods. “Is Harry gone a lot?”

“Not a ton,” Noah replies. “And sometimes I can come too, but when I don’t he always calls me and Daddy on his phone and I can see him.”

“I bet you miss him very badly when he goes away,” Mary says. They’re leading questions, Louis realizes. Nothing outright, just to gauge how Noah feels about all of this.

Noah sets his green crayon down and starts searching for another. “Yeah, only cause I love him so much,” he says, looking back to Harry for a moment and smiling. “But he always comes back to me and my Daddy. Plus, he’s gone making cool things I like.”

The two of them continue like that for awhile, talking back and forth about everything under the sun. Noah does his best to pay attention, telling Mary all about what Harry and Louis do for work, their new house, his favorite things about school, and his family.

Through it all, Mary takes notes on every little thing Noah says. He tells her all about how Harry asked Louis to marry him and how he helped, and how he’s going to be Louis’ best man at the wedding. He lists all of his family coming, including Harry’s family which makes Mary smile.

“You have quite a big family, Noah,” she notes.

“I know, there’s a bunch,” he giggles back. “Can’t even draw them all at school, I got a ton.”

And then Mary asks, “Noah, do you have any other family? Or is it just your dad and Harry?”

Louis knew this would have to come up at some point, but what he doesn’t expect is Noah’s answer.

“No,” he says. “No, it’s just me and Daddy and Papa.”

Mary frowns. “What about before your dad met Harry, do you remember?”

“Well, I know my Daddy was sad,” Noah explains carefully. “Because I had another dad who was very mean.”

Harry winces at Louis’ side like he’s been struck, and Louis feels much the same. Mary’s face turns sad for only a moment.

“Can you tell me why he was mean, Noah?” she asks gently.

Noah shrugs, still focused on his drawing. “Just left and never came to see me and my Daddy,” he explains, each word like a knife to Louis’ heart. “And yelled a lot at Daddy, called him names, which isn’t nice. You shouldn’t call people names, and you shouldn’t yell at someone and make them cry.”

“You’re right Noah,” Mary says. “That’s no way to treat someone.”

Noah nods. “Well, I know because my Papa treats us good,” he says. “He’d never, _ever_ make Daddy cry. And he wouldn’t leave, because he loves me and Daddy equal. He tells me all the time he loves me, and that I’m important just like Daddy is. Doesn’t matter that he wasn’t always here, like Daddy, cause I’m his only Noah and he’s my only Papa.”

“Oh bean,” Harry whispers. “I love you so much, darling.”

Noah smiles. “See, told you!” he tells Mary.

The four of them laugh and Mary continues writing. Finally, she puts her tablet down and says, “Do you know what this means, Noah? Have you talked with your dad and Harry about why I’m here today?”

“Well, it means my Papa’s adoptin’ me,” Noah explains. “So he and Daddy can be equal, and no one can ever tell me he isn’t my Papa. When my Papa asked if he could marry my dad he said he wants to see me growin’ up, and always be there for me and Daddy, and that’s what I want too.”

Mary smiles and nods. “I think that sounds lovely,” she reveals. “I’ve had a very good time talking with you, Noah, thank you for showing me your dinosaurs.”

“It’s no worries,” Noah says.

Mary looks up at Louis and Harry and says, “Is there any chance we could talk in private?”

“Of course,” Louis says. “Noah, why don’t you go look for Stanley? I bet he’s hiding in my room somewhere.”

Noah nods and jumps to his feet. He runs out of the room and as soon as he’s gone, Mary is smiling.

“He seems very well adjusted,” she reveals. “You’ve talked quite a lot about this, I’ve gathered.”

Louis nods. “We want him to know he has a choice,” he says. “Plus, he’s very curious. He wants to know everything there is to know about everything.”

“Well, I think we’re safe to move on to the next step,” she says, and Louis could swear Harry’s eyes are about to bust out of his head. “I’ll have to visit your new home when you’re settled and I may drop in again, just for a surprise visit, I know everyone loves those.”

“We don’t mind at all,” Harry is quick to say. “Thank you so much, really, you have no idea how badly we want this.”

Mary smiles at them and nods. “I think I might, now. It was lovely to meet both of you.”

The three of them stand up and are about to head to the door when Noah shouts, “I found him!”

“Oh god,” Harry whispers.

Noah comes running in holding Stanley and Mary looks alarmed. Louis nods.

“You’re free to leave now, I know I’d want to after seeing that.”

And with one last wave to all of them, and a wary glance at Stanley, Mary flees. As soon as she’s out the door, Harry’s throwing himself at Louis and squealing.

“Louis! She liked us, she really liked us, she’s going to say yes!”

Louis smiles and just hugs Harry back. “I know love,” he whispers. “I never had a doubt.”

 

* * *

 

“I hate it,” Noah says immediately.

Louis barks out a laugh but Harry looks stricken. He reaches for the back of his neck, which he can feel now for the first time in ages, and frowns.

“It’ll grow back, Noah, it’s just hair,” Louis reminds him.

Noah shakes his head, making a face at Harry. “I hate it,” he says again. “Why’d you do that, Papa?”

“It’s symbolic, Noah,” Harry says while Louis laughs at him.

Noah shrugs. “I dunno what that means, and I don’t like it.”

Around them, the crew of Harry’s music video are openly laughing at him. Louis and Noah showed up on set only minutes ago, and this is the first time Noah’s seeing him since Harry decided to chop his hair off that morning.

“You aren’t being very nice to Papa,” Louis teases. “He’s going to be sad now, he might even cry.”

Noah sighs loudly, looking incredibly put out. “Fine,” he says. “It’s kinda okay, Papa, but I don’t have to like it.”

Louis barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “I told you he wouldn't like it,” he says. “He's too attached to your long hair.”

“What about you, do you like it?” Harry asks, and he's nervous despite himself.

It was sort of a split second decision, chopping all of his hair off right before he starts promotion. It feels right, though. Harry hasn't had his hair this short since he was a teenager, and it feels right to get rid of the weight before he moves on with the next part of his life.

Still, Louis has never seen him with short hair before. Maybe this is something he hates, and Harry never would have known if he hadn't done it.

Louis reaches up and runs his hand through Harry's curls, tugging gently. “I quite like it,” he decides, easing Harry's worries. “You look young. I love these springy bits.”

“It'll grow back,” Harry says.

“I love it, H,” Louis says, ignoring Harry’s words. “You look beautiful, but then again you always do. Perfect.”

They're about to kiss when someone calls Harry's name and he has to go running to get hooked up to a harness. Louis and Noah walk around hand in hand, Noah looking absolutely adorable in the wellies and big parka Harry's bought him just for the occasion. It's a new obsession of his, buying miniatures of his own and Louis’ clothes for Noah to wear. He's sure it'll only get worse should they adopt a baby. There are a lot of baby sized boots and adidas saved on his phone he always has to stop himself from buying.

He sneaks a picture of the two of them, standing on the edge of one of the nearby cliffs and looking at the sea. Now that the world knows they're engaged Harry isn't very well going to stop showing them off. He captions it _my entire world._ and watches the comments roll in.

There's one from his sister almost immediately saying, _We need a play date soon, Eva's missing her No_ followed by a string of hearts that sends everyone into even more of a frenzy. It's safe to say the engagement is going over well, better than Harry thought it would.

They're still not sure who leaked it, though Louis thinks someone just made a good guess considering the rings they've been sporting for months now. The reaction was overwhelmingly positive, though there are always going to be those people who say awful things that make Harry hold onto his boys a little tighter.

But still, sometimes Harry wishes he could go back to the scared kid he was at 16 or the lost boy he was at 23 and tell himself about this. Tell himself he'll someday get what he's always wanted, and it'll be so much better than he ever dreamed it would be.

“Alright Harry,” the director says, walking up to him with a clipboard. “We’re going to hoist you up for a bit, but we have a dummy as well for some of the higher shots.”

Harry nods as Louis approaches with Noah in his arms. “How high up is it?” He asks.

“Around 1,500 feet up,” the man replies nonchalantly.

Louis’ eyes immediately go wide and he slaps Harry on the arm. “Harold, what? You told me you were just doing _a bit of flying._ That's what you said, _it_ _’s just a bit of flying Louis!_ not _I_ _’m going up twenty thousand feet and falling to my death, Louis!_ ”

Harry, who is a bit surprised himself, shakes his head. “Babe, I'll be fine,” he says, trying to convince himself as well.

“You're going to make me a widower before we're even married,” Louis grumbles. “Say goodbye to Papa, Noah, he's about to fall into the ocean.”

Noah laughs loudly. “Daddy! Papa’s not gonna fall, Papa’s gonna fly!”

“You hear that? It is flying,” Harry says, leaning into kiss Louis. “I'll be fine.”

Louis sighs. “Fine, but don't expect me at your bedside when you do fall. It's your own fault.”

“Thank you darling, for that vote of confidence,” Harry sighs as the crew laughs at him once more. He's starting to think they like Louis more than him. Maybe they should strap Louis up and string him across the sea.

“Good luck Papa!” Noah says. “I love you, even with your dumb short hair.”

Harry kisses Noah's forehead. “I love you too, bean. You and Daddy are going to watch the whole time, aren't you?”

“Uh huh,” Noah promises. “Daddy, say goodbye to Papa!”

Louis sighs. “If I must,” he says, before stepping forward to kiss Harry once more. He grabs onto Harry’s coat before Harry can pull away and whispers, “Please be careful, yeah?”

“I will be,” Harry promises.

Later, once Harry is strung up over the sea and fearing a bit for his life, all it takes to calm him down is one look to the ground where his boys are waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

Harry's album release party is tonight, and Louis is running late.

The album has been months in the making, months of comforting Harry through writer’s blocks and listening to every discarded demo, and if Louis wants to get to the party in time he needed to leave ten minutes ago.

He has Zayn and Perrie picking up Noah from his mum’s and getting him into his best outfit for the party, while he's stuck at work trying to avoid certain disaster with the magazine that's due to be sent out to print tomorrow.

Things are just winding down to a slightly less chaotic state when his boss Sarah calls him into the conference room.

Terror shoots down his spine. He never talks to Sarah outside of meetings and emails, she's much too busy running her media empire to be talking with little old Louis from the music section. If she needs something from him, she usually sends Jesy to do it. Surely this cannot be good.

Inside the conference room he also finds Jesy, which immediately makes him even more nervous. Has he done something wrong? Is he being fired? Is this about that one star review he gave to that up and coming bubblegum pop boyband he hated?

“Please sit Louis,” Sarah says, gesturing towards a chair at the end of the long table.

He sits down heavily and finds that the smile Jesy is giving him does absolutely nothing to calm his nerves. He gives her a look but she doesn't stop grinning, and even shoots him a thumbs up when Sarah's back is turned. Maybe he isn’t being fired, then.

“I'm so sorry to do this now, Louis, I know you intended on leaving a bit early,” Sarah says, taking a seat beside Jesy.

“It's okay,” Louis says, even though it isn't. “I'll be fine, I can be late.”

Sarah smiles. “Congratulations, by the way. I've heard about the engagement, and with all the buzz I'm hearing about your fiancés new album I'm sure it'll be a hit.”

“Well, I think so,” Louis replies. “But then again I am a bit biased.”

Sarah laughs and looks down at the papers in front of her before saying, “We've called you in here today Louis to ask you something. I have decided to step down as editor in chief.”

“What?” Louis asks, eyebrows furrowing. Sarah's always been editor in chief, she created Mod Magazine from nothing, this entire place is her empire. He can't imagine her not being around anymore.

Sarah nods. “After spending so many years here, building the company, I think it's time I take a step back and let myself enjoy it. I'll still be involved, obviously, but not as editor in chief. That'll be Jesy’s new position.”

Beside her, Jesy looks fit to burst with pride and Louis can't help but grin right back. “Congratulations Jesy, you were made for that.”

“Thanks Lou,” Jesy says. “But that's actually why we've called you in here. The two of us have been talking about who is going to replace me as managing editor, and we both believe there's really only one choice.”

“Who?” Louis asks.

Sarah smiles. “You, Louis.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in. “Me?” he asks. “I thought you were firing me!”

Both women laugh and Jesy shakes her head. “God, Louis, no,” she giggles. “Of course not, you're the most successful and talented writer we've ever had. You're a natural leader, and I know I can always trust you to take over when I'm not around. You've worked yourself to the bone for this magazine ever since you were an intern, you're exactly what we want in an editor. We're offering you the job, it's yours if you want it.”

“Yes,” Louis says quickly. “Oh my god, yes, absolutely. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much I want this.”

“Perfect!” Sarah says. “You'll start Monday, you'll just be shadowing Jesy for a bit, even though I'm sure you've seen enough of her around to know what you're doing. You'll make a great team, the two of you. I can't wait to see where you take us in the future.”

Louis jumps to his feet as soon as Sarah stands up to shake her hand. He then hugs Jesy, squeezing her tightly while she laughs.

“I'm so excited, Lou,” she whispers. “We're going to be great.”

“We are,” Louis agrees. “I know we are.”

Louis feels like he's walking on air on his way out of the building. He waves goodbye to everyone while looking around the office one last time as a writer. This place where he's worked since he was just a scared kid at uni, where he slaved away to make extra to support himself and Noah alone, where he's met the most wonderful friends he's ever had, family, really. It's the entire reason he met Harry. God only knows where he'd be now without this little office and these people.

Everything has come full circle, in a way. Louis is leaving today for the very last time as the writer who started stuck in a shitty marriage and unsure about his future. In just a few short months he'll be married to the love of his life, entirely certain of who he is and what he wants.

It's almost like saying goodbye as the lift doors close that last time.

But then again, it's almost like saying hello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back, just like that!!
> 
> As I mentioned in the tags, each chapter of this half of the story will be self contained. Mostly this means that there will be weird time jumps between chapters, uneven word counts, POV changes, and each chapter will read like a oneshot with its own summary. It also means I literally have no idea if this will ever end or if I'll just keep posting forever...hopefully not that last one. 
> 
> The response to mess has been absolutely wonderful (I'm still reeling over 1500 kudos holy crap) and I wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read it, whether you started two years ago or two hours ago. Thank you for sticking around for this little family that I love so much. I love you all. 
> 
> [The ever changing playlist for this work can be found here](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287), and [ I can be found here ](https://amories.tumblr.com)


	2. the wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis have a wedding, everyone does a bit of dancing, and there are more than a few types of gifts involved.

Their wedding is everything Louis had dreamed and planned it would be.

After over a year of meticulously picking out just the right flowers, seeing venues, tasting cake, sending out invitations-Louis finally gets to sit back and enjoy it all.

Well, he will be able to sit back and enjoy it, but right now he’s trying his hardest not to cry in front of everyone he knows.

They’ve exchanged vows, the words they’ve been hiding from each other for weeks now. Harry smiled the entire time Louis spoke and teared up a bit, which Louis supposes is a good sign. Just after Harry’s finished promising Louis to always love him, and care for him, he’s kneeling down to address Noah.

It isn’t just Louis that’s emotional, of course. Both of their mum’s and sisters are practically sobbing by now, and even Zayn seems a bit choked up from his spot standing beside Noah.

“Hey bean,” Harry says.

Noah smiles. “Hi, Papa.”

Harry smiles and reaches into his jacket pocket, coming out with a long black box that he opens to reveal a bracelet. Louis hasn’t seen it yet, only heard about it during Harry’s exhaustive search for just the right one, but Noah had no idea. Their friendship bracelets are still on their wrists, held on by tape and pure will, but Harry wanted something permanent. He wanted something to symbolize that this isn’t just about them today, it’s about Noah as well. It’s about Harry being Noah’s father, as well as Louis’ husband.

“Noah,” Harry starts, carefully taking the bracelet out of the box. It’s fashioned out of three delicate silver chains, knotted in the center, and Noah is staring at it in shock. “I promise to always care, and listen, and understand. I promise to make you pancakes in the morning, play dinosaurs with you, and read you your favorite stories at night. I promise to always be there when you need me, and help you grow up to be the strong young man I know you will be. I love you, Noah, and I will always love you and your father until death do us part. I promise to be the absolute best father I can be to you, no matter what. I’m never leaving, baby, ever, as long as you’ll have me.”

Noah nods quickly, eyes watering a bit as Harry smiles and gently clips the bracelet around his wrist. It fits perfectly, and Noah touches it gently before throwing his arms around Harry’s neck and hugging him tightly.

“I love you, Papa,” Noah whispers, only loud enough for Harry and Louis to hear.

Harry smiles and squeezes him back, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. “I love you too, my darling. I will always love you.”

When Harry finally stands back up again, and Noah steps back beside Louis, there isn’t a dry eye left. Louis has to sniffle a bit to stop himself from crying, but Harry still notices.

“Don’t cry, love,” he whispers, reaching out for Louis’ hand.

Louis shakes his head and squeezes Harry’s hand right back, but says nothing. The breakdown he had earlier seems so stupid now. How could he ever doubt this? How could he ever doubt what they have?

The ceremony comes to an end with a kiss and the three of them moving to a table to sign the marriage license along with Noah’s finalized adoption papers. It’s more symbolic than anything, considering Noah’s officially been Harry’s for a month now in the eyes of law, but their family absolutely eats it up and Noah smiles proudly for all of the pictures.

They walk down the aisle together, Noah walking between them and holding their hands while their guests cheer them on.

It’s a lovely summer night, just as Louis had hoped, and their reception is held outside the venue under strings of fairy lights. Bouquets of white and light pink flowers decorate the tables in vases Lottie and Louis spent hours tying strings around. It’s everything Louis wanted, everything he wanted it to be, and Harry kisses him as soon as they walk in to their cheering guests.

“It’s beautiful,” he whispers. “Gorgeous, baby, even better than your pinterest board.”

Louis throws his head back in a laugh as Harry drags him out onto the dance floor. “Shut up,” he giggles, tugging Harry forward by his lapels. “There’s still time to annul, you know, we haven’t consummated shit.”

“I’ll make sure to change that very soon,” Harry laughs.

They get the first dance together, which is more swaying and Harry spinning him about than actual dancing, but they’re quickly joined by Noah, and then the rest of their guests as the music picks up.

Louis dances with Anna, who seems less terrified of Harry than usual, and Harry takes a turn dancing with each of Louis’ siblings, down to Ernest and Doris. Eventually, Louis is able to pry Noah away from where he’s entertaining the other children and dance with him as well, which mostly means holding Noah on his hip and spinning in circles.

“I love you so much, darling,” Louis sighs, in awe of this moment and how different their lives have become.

Noah beams. “I love you too, my Daddy,” he says. “I’m having the bestest time.”

“I’m glad,” Louis says. “Let me see what Papa got you.”

Noah lifts his arm up and grins. “It’s for me,” he explains. “Because Papa’s always mine now, and I’m always Papa’s.”

“It’s lovely darling,” Louis whispers, brushing his fingers over the delicate silver chain. The knot made by the three chains looks like a heart, because Harry’s always been one for symbolism. “You’ll have to take very good care of it, yeah? Be extra, extra careful with it.”

Noah nods, holding onto his father’s neck as Louis carries him back to their table. “I’m gonna be, Daddy. I’m gonna be ’sponsible with it, it’s very special.”

“Very special,” Louis agrees.

They sit down together and pick at their food while they watch Harry make the rounds for them and thank everyone for coming. He circles back just in time for Perrie to show up with a big grin and a package in her arms.

“Love, we aren’t opening gifts until after the honeymoon,” Louis reminds her with a laugh.

Perrie shakes her head and pushes the gift towards him. “This is important, though, it can’t wait,” she says. “Just open it Lewis.”

Harry laughs and nudges Louis towards the present. He sighs and gently leans the package against the back of the table before ripping the wrapping paper off the front. What’s there immediately makes him laugh and hug her.

“Pez, oh my god.”

“I wanted to give it to you for your house warming, but I figured this would be more appropriate,” she laughs.

Harry smiles and Noah reaches out to the picture before saying, “Papa, your hair is nice here.”

“It’s growing back now, love,” Harry says, touching the ends of his curls.

The gift is a framed picture of the three of them from Zayn and Perrie’s wedding, with Louis and Harry kissing and Noah making a face to the camera. It’s just as lovely and hilarious as Louis remembered it being, and it represents their little family perfectly. Louis already knows exactly where he’s going to put it in the house. There’s an empty space on the wall by the steps, you see it right when you walk in the door, it’ll be perfect that.

“Thank you Perrie, seriously,” Louis says. “I love it so much.”

“You’re welcome,” she sings, moving to hug Harry next. “I know you’ll probably be swarmed with people later, but I’m so happy for you two. You better have fun on that honeymoon-that means you, Louis. No calling every hour to check on Noah.”

Louis scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m taking his phone,” Harry announces. “No work calls, and we’ll call Noah once a day. I doubt he’s going to want to talk to us, though, he’ll be too preoccupied with my mum and Gemma.”

Noah nods quickly at that. “I’m gonna have _so_ much fun, my Perrie,” he says. “With my Nana Anne, and my Eva, and cats, and flowers, and making food-”

“Alright love, at least pretend you’ll miss us,” Louis laughs.

“I will,” Noah says. “But my Daddies deserve to be happy, have a holiday.”

Harry laughs and kisses the top of Noah’s head. “Thank you, my darling,” he sighs. “But we’ll miss you very much. We’ll go on a holiday soon, just the three of us.”

Noah beams and claps his hands together before taking off to sit in Jay’s lap and steal some of her cake. Louis and Harry are soon dragged into conversations with family members they hardly know, old aunts who pinch their cheeks and tell them how cute they are, and Louis’ nan who doesn’t really seem to know what’s going on but likes Louis’ suit.

They dance the night away together, until Noah lays half asleep on Lottie’s lap and Louis’ feet hurt. Harry has to practically carry him out to the limo which is taking them to the airport and he knows he’s going to fall asleep as soon as they’re on the plane.

“I’ll miss you,” Noah says, wrapping his arms around Louis in one last sleepy hug. “Have fun being married.”

Louis smiles and kisses Noah’s forehead. “I love you so much, baby. Be good for Anne yeah?”

“He will be,” Anne says. “We’re going to have so much fun, aren’t we Noah?”

Noah nods and squeezes Louis one last time before Louis hands him off to Harry.

“Thank you,” Louis says to Anne. “Seriously, if anything happens, you can call-”

“Louis he’ll be fine, I promise, I’ve done this before,” Anne laughs, hugging him tight. “Besides, two weeks of spoiling my grandson sounds perfect to me. Have a wonderful time, darling.”

“We will,” Louis promises.

Harry gives Noah one last big hug before putting him down, looking a bit sad. “Well, we better go.”

“Bye Daddy, bye Papa!” Noah says, waving them off as they walk to the car. The rest of their guests follow suit, yelling their goodbyes as they get into the back of a limo and drive away.

Louis looks out the window and sighs. “I’m so worried about him,” he murmurs.

“Mum’s got it handled, baby, she’s raised two of her own, she can handle Noah for two weeks,” Harry says, tugging Louis into his lap.

“I know,” Louis murmurs. “I’m worried he’ll be sad, though. We’ve never been apart for more than a weekend.”

Harry kisses Louis’ neck and sighs. “He’ll be fine,” he says. “It’ll be good for him. And now it’s time for you to stop worrying, and start thinking about all the things we’re going to do on this honeymoon.”

“Hm,” Louis starts. “Well, first, I’d like a very long nap on your shoulder during the flight. And then, I’d like to get super drunk and swim in the ocean naked.”

Harry laughs. “Naked?” he asks. “And what about me?”

“You can come along too,” Louis decides. “Husband.”

“Husband,” Harry smiles, and he’s a bit drunk off of champagne and his curls have wilted completely from the style they’d been in, but he’s still so beautiful. Louis can’t believe Harry’s his now, forever. “We’re husbands. You’re my spouse, I like that a bit better. Like spider and mouse. I’m the spider, you’re the mouse.”

Louis laughs and reaches out for Harry’s hand. They intertwine their fingers and stare at each other’s hands, at the rings on their fingers. Louis almost can’t believe that they got to this point, that they’re really married, that Harry really loves him this much, that they get to keep each other. His heart feels so full of love, he hardly knows what to do with himself other than kiss Harry soundly on the lips and nod.

“Spouses,” he says. “I could get used to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a bit short, but hopefully you enjoyed it!! Spoiler alert, but in the next chapter we get to meet Baby #2 :) Thank you for all of your support and kind words, you guys keep me going. 
> 
> p.s.I wanted to mention that [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dVhZuyltII) came out around when I was writing this, and it's so adorably sweet and wonderful, you should give it a listen!!
> 
> [The playlist is here](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287), and [ I can be found here ](https://amories.tumblr.com)


	3. Amelia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis want a baby and Noah warms up to the idea.

They’re on their honeymoon all of two days when Louis whispers to him, “I want a baby.”

Harry smiles, dragging his fingers up over Louis’ ribs absentmindedly. “We can keep trying,” he says. “But I hate to break it to you, darling, we're not having a baby all on our own.”

Louis slaps his naked chest and Harry whines, though it didn’t really hurt.

“You're the worst,” Louis murmurs, kissing over the spot he's just hit. “You know what I mean. I want a baby.”

Harry nods, running his fingers through Louis’ hair and looking out to where the waves are lapping at the beach outside their door. “Okay,” he sighs. “We'll start when we get back.”

Louis smiles. “I love babies,” he whispers, walking his fingers across Harry’s naked chest. “Little clothes, little shoes, little tiny fingers and toes. Baby shampoo and blankets and lots of cuddles.”

“Sounds absolutely wonderful,” Harry murmurs, tugging Louis up by his shoulders to kiss. “I can't wait to have a baby with you, Louis Tomlinson.”

“Its Tomlinson-Styles now, excuse you,” Louis teases, brushing his hand over Harry's chest. “And Noah Tomlinson-Styles, and little Baby Tomlinson-Styles.”

“Baby Tomlinson-Styles,” Harry murmurs. “Like the sound of that.”

“Good,” Louis says with a smirk. “You know, just because we can't have a baby ourselves doesn't mean we shouldn't keep trying.”

Harry grins deviously and quickly rolls them over so he's holding himself above Louis. “I couldn't agree more, Mr. Tomlinson-Styles.”

 

* * *

 

“We’re home!” Louis shouts as soon as they're through the door for the first time in two weeks. “Where's my baby at?”

“Daddy!”

Noah is a blur as he comes running out of the kitchen and up to the front door, throwing his arms around Louis’ waist and squeezing.

“Oh my baby,” Louis laughs, spinning Noah around and picking him up to kiss his face.

“Missed you, Daddy,” Noah giggles as Louis presses kisses to his forehead.

“I missed you too, sweetheart, missed you so much. You seem taller, have you gotten bigger somehow?”

Anne laughs, walking out of the kitchen and wiping her hands on her apron. “It's only been two weeks Louis,” she teases, pulling him in for a quick hug. “You're so tan! Where's Harry?”

“He's getting the rest of the bags, I just couldn't wait to see my boy,” Louis says, squeezing Noah tightly once more before putting him down.

Noah smiles and looks behind Louis, jumping up and down happily. “Papa’s coming, I see him!”

Sure enough, out of the windows beside the door they can see Harry approaching with their bags and a big smile on his face.

He pushes open the door and yells, “Bean!” so loud it echoes through the house.

“Papa!” Noah yells back, launching himself into Harry's arms.

“Oh, you're tan as well,” Anne says, shaking her head. “I should go on a holiday.”

“I'll pay for it,” Harry says earnestly, because he's a bit of an idiot like that.

Anne rolls her eyes and rubs Louis’ back as the two of them walk away. “You'll have to tell me everything love, let's get you some tea. I bet you're both starving, Noah and I came back earlier and started making something for you.”

“Thank you,” Louis says, following Anne into the kitchen. “I mean it Anne, thank you so much.”

Anne shakes her head and wraps her arm around Louis’ shoulder. “It was wonderful,” she says. “I have a beautiful grandson, and a wonderful son-in-law.”

“You'll make me cry, going on like that,” Louis tries to tease.

Anne pulls him into a hug and sighs. “I love you, Louis. I'm so happy Harry found the two of you, that you're part of our family.”

“Mum told me once that in laws are supposed to be awful,” Louis laughs. “I'm not entirely sure how Harry and I got this lucky.”

Anne kisses Louis’ temple. “Me neither, darling. Ever since you got married my friends have been telling all of these horror stories about their son’s marriages. Feel a bit left out, I have nothing to complain about.”

“Aw, there's still time,” Louis teases, leaning over the kitchen island. “You could still hate me yet, Anne.”

“Never, darling,” Anne says. “I've made spaghetti bolognese, and there's bread over on the counter for you.”

Louis smiles. “You didn't have to cook for us, really.”

“Well, I know you two are probably tired,” Anne says, stirring the pasta a bit. “And this is Harry's favorite.”

On cue, Harry and Noah walk into the room together. “Mum,” he groans happily. “That smells amazing. You didn't have to.”

“You three sit down, Noah and I even made you a cake.”

Noah nods, climbing up onto his favorite stool at the kitchen counter. “I did, me and my Nana Anne we made it. It's got chocolate, Daddy.”

“You're the best, darling,” Louis says, taking a seat beside him. “Did you have a fun time?”

“Uh huh,” Noah says, and then he starts to tell Louis everything he did over the past two weeks. He goes day by day, which means by the time he's done recounting each time he woke up, Anne's ready to leave and Louis is ready for bed.

“Well, goodbye loves,” Anne sighs, giving each of them a hug. “And goodbye, Noah. My house will be almost scarily quiet without you.”

Noah giggles and hugs her tight. “Bye, nan,” he sighs. “I love you.”

Anne's eyes soften and she kisses his forehead. “I love you too. Goodnight, my darlings.”

“Bye Anne!” Louis calls.

As soon as she's out the door, Harry's groaning and stretching. “I'm ready for bed,” he murmurs.

“It's not even night time, Papa,” Noah giggles, pointing back out the windows where the sun is just starting to set.

Louis has missed his house, something he never thought he'd say considering the shite place he used to live in. This house holds no bad memories, and no leaky pipes, or washing machine you sometimes have to kick to get to work. It has beautiful windows, sunlight that steams in from every angle, and only good times. Noah’s first day of big school, the night before their wedding, dancing through the kitchen to old records. As beautiful as paradise can be, Louis missed this place.

“I have an idea,” Louis says. “Why don't Papa and I unpack while you take a bath, and then we can all get in bed and watch something together? It's been too long since we've gotten to spend time with you, love.”

Noah nods. “We can do that,” he decides.

Harry holds Louis’ hand as they follow their son up the stairs. Noah grabs pajamas and runs into the bathroom go no doubt make a mess of the place. They're about to go into Louis and Harry's room when Harry squeezes his arm and pulls him down the hall further.

Their other rooms don't get much use now, unless family comes to stay, but Louis hopes one day they'll all be full.

Harry pushes open the door beside theirs, a smaller room with big windows, and smiles.

“I think,” he says. “That this would be a great room for our baby.”

Louis smiles. “Yeah? Been thinking about this a lot then, love?”

Harry nods and lets go of Louis’ hand to point around. “The crib can go here,” he says, pointing to one wall. “And a wardrobe over there, and a rocking chair by the window. Of course we need a bookshelf, for all of the books they'll have, and we can put art on the walls and paint them yellow-I think yellow’s the prettiest color for a nursery-”

Louis stops him by walking up to where he's standing in the middle of the mostly empty room and kissing him. Harry makes a noise of surprise but melts into Louis’ hold quickly.

“You're so cute,” Louis murmurs. “You're nesting.”

“I'm not nesting, pregnant women nest,” Harry says with a pout.

Louis laughs and pats Harry’s stomach. “Who knows, maybe we've done it. Defied science once and for all.”

“You really do know how to ruin a moment,” Harry grumbles.

Louis smiles and wraps his arms around Harry's waist, laying his head on his husband’s chest and looking around the room. “I think it's a perfect place. Tell me more, love.”

And Harry does. They stand together in the soon to be nursery, Harry holding onto Louis and telling Louis everything he wants. A sound machine, a changing table, little dividers to organize the clothes, a corner of the room dedicated just to reading and napping like they have in Noah's room. He has been thinking about this a lot, Louis realizes, and that only makes him hold on tighter.

“Daddies?”

Noah interrupts Harry's rambling about carpets and they turn to find him standing at the door, wet curls dripping on his shirt and frowning.

“What're you doing in here?”

Louis smiles and carefully pulls away from Harry. “Nothing love, just talking. Are you ready for a movie?”

Noah nods. “I wanna see a princess one, but there's a ton so I can't pick.”

“Daddy will pick,” Harry says, walking out of the room with a small glance back. He picks Noah up and settles the boy on his hip, talking about all the different princesses and which is best.

Louis looks around the room, which is just a boring old guest room, and imagines it a pretty yellow. He imagines the rocking chair, the fluffy white rug, the corner filled with books and pillows, and a baby. Their baby.

Louis switches the lights off with a smile and goes to find his boys.

 

* * *

 

Their new social worker tells them they're basically a shoe in for a child, and Harry could almost cry with joy. They’re stable, have a history of adopting, and all of their home visits go beautifully well. They’re approved as foster parents, and it hits Harry suddenly that they're actually going to do it, they're actually going to have a baby.

One problem, though, is Noah.

They can't just bring a child in without ever once asking the boy his opinion. As he starts school again and they fall back into a routine of work and school and Louis and Harry decide that would be the best time to sit Noah down and talk about it.

They're in their living room eating ice cream when Harry brings it up. Noah stares at the two of them with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open.

“A baby?” He asks, putting his bowl down.

Louis nods and leans forward a bit. “Yes love. Papa and I've been talking quite a lot about this and we think now would be a great time for us to have a baby.”

“Wouldn't you like that, Noah?” Harry asks. “You'd be a big brother, you'd have a little brother or sister.”

“No,” Noah says, shaking his head and standing up. “No, I don't want that.”

Harry frowns and stands up as well, taking a step towards Noah to pick him up. Noah takes a step back and looks up at Harry with what can only be described as betrayal.

“Baby bean,” Harry whispers. “Darling, why not? Don't you want Daddy and I to have another baby?”

“No!” Noah shouts, stomping his foot to emphasize his words and shocking both of them. “I hate you, Harry. I hate you, and I want a new Papa, and I want you to go away!”

Everything stops. The house goes strangely quiet, Noah’s words hanging in the air between them. Harry can’t think to do anything but stare at him with his jaw hanging open until the little boy finally stomps his foot once more and runs off to his room.

The sound of his door slamming from upstairs shocks Harry back to reality and the words sink in. Noah doesn’t want him anymore. Noah hates him. His breathing escalates with each realization and he soon finds himself collapsing on the couch, trying to calm himself down.

“Babe,” Louis is whispering. “Oh, Harry, baby he didn't mean it.”

Harry shakes his head, choking out sobs. “He hates me, Louis, he-”

“He's just upset,” Louis whispers, gently dragging his hand through Harry's curls. “Baby, calm down, breathe. He's a kid, they do that. He doesn't hate you, I promise.”

Harry shakes his head. “He hasn't called me that in years,” he whispers. “Harry. He never calls me that, Lou.”

Louis sighs and wraps his arms around Harry's shoulders. “I'll go talk to him.”

“No, I will,” Harry says. “Just…just give me a minute. Gotta get my shit together.”

Louis nods and rubs soothing circles on Harry's back. It's just his absolute worst fear come to life, that’s all. He has nightmares about this sort of thing; Noah doesn't want him anymore, and if Noah doesn't want him Louis will follow suit, and Harry doesn't know what he'd do without his boys.

It takes him awhile to finally start breathing normally again, but he's soon wiping at his eyes and standing up.

“I'll go talk to him,” he murmurs.

Louis nods. “Call me if you need me to come up, yeah?”

Harry nods back and slowly walks over to the steps. It doesn't take him long to find Noah hiding in his room under his blankets, whispering to someone. Harry knocks gently on the door and Noah pulls the blankets back enough for Harry to see he's been talking to Stanley.

“Noah,” Harry says.

“Go away,” Noah mumbles against his blanket.

Harry sighs and takes a slow step into his room. “Can we talk?”

Noah sniffles and sits up, his lower lip wobbling. Stanley climbs into his lap and pushes his head against Noah's face, obviously upset that the only person he likes is crying. As bad as that cat is, it's kind of adorable.

Harry walks over and gently sits down next to Noah on his bed. Noah sniffles once more and wipes at his face with his sleeve.

“I'm sorry,” he hiccups. “I don't hate you, Papa.”

“Bean,” Harry breathes a sign of relief. “That really hurt my feelings, you know? It hurts so much hearing you say that, darling. If you ever feel that way-”

“I don't!” Noah says quickly. “I don't, Papa, I love you, I don't hate you-please don't go away. Please don't leave me and get a new baby.”

Harry sighs and runs his hands through Noah's hair while the boy hugs him. “Is that what this is about?” he asks. “Darling, if you want to wait for a bit, Daddy and I are fine with that. We don't need to have a baby right now.”

“Don't wanna baby at all,” Noah mumbles. “Don't want my dads to forget me.”

Harry shakes his head. “Noah, love, just because Daddy and I have a baby doesn't mean we don't still love you. We aren't replacing you.”

“Well you weren't here when I'm a baby,” Noah whispers. “So maybe you and Daddy want a baby just for you. Maybe you don't want a Noah anymore.”

“Oh, bean,” Harry murmurs. “I do want a baby, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want you. Daddy and I love you so much we want to do it all over again, we want you to be a big brother.”

Noah hides his face against Harry’s jumper and shrugs. “What if you love it more?” he whispers.

Harry reaches out and picks Noah up, startling Stanley out of his lap. Harry sets Noah on his knee and wraps his arms around the boy, holding him close and humming softly. “I could never, ever love anyone more than you,” he says, gently wiping Noah’s tears away. “I could love a baby just as much as I love you, but nobody could ever replace my little bean. You’re my only Noah, my only little boy, nothing could ever make me stop loving you.”

Noah reaches out to hold onto Harry’s jumper and sneakily slips his thumb into his mouth. He isn’t supposed to, Louis is always saying it’ll ruin his teeth, but Harry allows it just this once.

“I don’t want my daddies to get a new baby and forget me.”

Harry smiles and shakes his head. “How could we forget you, darling? I love you so much, you made me a father. I love you unconditionally, and I’ll never stop.”

Harry reaches out to gently touch the silver bracelet on Noah’s wrist and Noah smiles just a bit.

“You know,” Harry starts. “When I was a baby, Gemma tried to return me to the hospital because she was worried your nan would forget all about her.”

Noah breaks into giggles. “Papa, that’s silly!”

“I know, she’s very silly. Trying to return me, can you imagine? I’m a gift.”

Noah laughs harder and snuggles closer to Harry’s chest. “Wouldn’t ever try to return my baby brother or sister,” he says softly. “My Eva’s got a baby brother.”

“She does, you’re right,” Harry agrees. “I think you’d be the best big brother ever, just like your Daddy.”

Noah smiles at that and then says, “Where we even get a baby from? From my Natalie? She’s far away now.”

“No, love, Daddy and I are going to find a baby that doesn’t have a family,” Harry explains. “A baby who’s all alone and needs two dads like us, and a great big brother just like you. A baby who needs a lot of love. We’d adopt them, just like I adopted you, and they’d be our baby.”

Noah hums at that, obviously thinking it over. “Well,” he starts. “That’s good, to get a baby who needs a family, because babies shouldn’t be alone. We got a good family to love a baby. I could teach them about dinosaurs, and show them the music, and share Stanley with them.”

Harry smiles and kisses Noah’s nose. “Yeah? You think so?”

Noah nods. “I’d be a good big brother. Can show them how to spell, and be cool like me, and give them love when they don’t have any.”

“I think that sounds perfect,” Harry says, hugging Noah. “You’ll be such a great big brother, Noah bean, I know it.”

Noah smiles and touches his bracelet once more before saying, “Just like my Daddy.”

 

* * *

 

They go out the very next weekend and buy yellow paint and steal the sheet the builders have been using all week in the basement turning it into a recording studio. They won’t be back until Monday, which gives them two day to splatter paint on it and put it back where they found it like nothing ever happened.

Harry and Louis get to work first, taking the bed and the other bits of furniture they have in the room out and covering the wood floors before letting Noah inside to start painting. Harry has thrown himself into planning the nursery entirely, and now has a very solid plan of what he wants, down to the art on the wall.

When Louis had Noah, though, he was the same way. Now he’s a bit disillusioned to the whole thing, considering the fact that Noah slept in bed with him more than he ever slept in his own room, but he’s going to let Harry have this moment.

They’ve taped off the molding, but Louis is still careful to make sure Noah isn’t dripping paint on the bottom too badly. The paint they picked out is a very pale yellow that Noah’s somehow already gotten onto the big band shirt he’s wearing to paint. All of the walls are being painted yellow, but the one where the crib is going will have a huge piece of art on it. Harry wants their child’s name on the wall as well, but they don’t know their baby yet, or their name, so they leave it for now.

While they paint they listen to music and Noah puts on a show for them, which mostly means he gets yellow paint on himself and them whilst dancing wildly and singing along to Niall’s newest single. Harry takes a video to send off to Niall, which makes Noah happy as he’s missed the Irish lad since he’s set off on tour.

It takes two coats of the yellow paint before Harry’s satisfied and they’re allowed to put up the wall art, something Noah isn’t allowed to touch. It’s the words _You are my sunshine_ written in a pretty cursive font that’s gray like the crib that’s coming the next morning. He’s also bought a giant grey tree that they put up beside the words with leaves that are meant to blow across the wall. Noah helps a bit with that, which ends with some of the leaves in clumps, but Harry says it’s the thought that counts.

All of their furniture comes the next day; the lamp that curves up and over like a lantern, the bookcase, the rocking chair that’s big enough for both Harry and Louis to sit in, the changing table, the crib, and the fluffy white rug of Harry’s dreams. Later that night the three of them find themselves laying on it and staring up at the ceiling, enjoying the finished product.

“It’s nice,” Noah sighs. “Makes me sleepy, which is good. Eva tells me her baby brother is up all night and screams a lot.”

Harry laughs and Louis smiles. “You kept me up all night too,” he teases.

“Didn’t even,” Noah shoots back.

Harry sighs and says, “We’ll still love them, even if they do keep us up all night.”

“Yeah,” Noah says. “But it’ll be nice if they don’t scream.”

Louis barks out a laugh and shakes his head. “God, Noah,” he mutters.

“This is a good room, Daddies,” Noah announces. “I like it. Almost as good as my room, and best for a baby.”

“Thanks love,” Harry sighs. “You did a very good job helping us. Now, how about we celebrate by ordering a pizza and washing this yellow paint out of my hair?”

Noah nods and pushes himself up off the floor, running down the hall to change out of his painted clothes. Louis rolls over on the carpet and smiles at Harry. Sure enough, there are still traces of yellow paint in his curls, and he’s smiling at the room around them.

It is perfect, Louis thinks, as much as he teased Harry about nesting. He can already imagine holding their son or daughter in the rocking chair, reading to them, picking their clothes out of the wardrobe, letting them play on the white rug.

“You did good, Harold,” Louis whispers, leaning down to kiss him.

Harry smiles back and sighs, eyes drifting across all of his hard work. “Now all we need is a baby,” he murmurs.

“Soon,” Louis promises. “I can feel it.”

 

* * *

 

Soon turns out to be two weeks later. Two weeks of agonizing over never finding a baby, two weeks of looking through profiles of children, two weeks of Louis not so secretly buying baby clothes and filling their future child’s wardrobe, and two weeks of keeping their family on their toes with every phone call.

Their social worker Nadine calls Louis while he’s planning the next issue of the magazine with Jesy, saying she thinks she’s found the perfect child for them. Louis doesn’t hesitate and Jesy shoos him out of work early to meet up with Harry at the hospital where their possible baby is waiting.

In all his research on adopting, Louis has heard about that moment you look into your child’s eyes and just know. You know that they’re yours, the connection is immediate. Harry admitted that’s how he felt with Noah, but Louis worries he might not feel it.

But he does.

Hospitals make Louis nervous, but Harry seems nervous as well. He squeezes Louis’ hand as they take the lift up to where the NICU is. Nadine is waiting there with a smile.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says when she sees their faces. “But just trust me on this one.”

Louis nods and squeezes Harry’s hand before they’re lead into a room where babies who look too tiny to be real are laying attached to tubes and wires. Louis feels himself getting choked up, but holds himself together as their social worker leads them to a crib at the very end of the room.

She’s so tiny, is Louis’ first though, far too tiny, but then she looks at him and that’s it. Distantly, he can hear Harry saying something to their social worker, but it’s all just noise to Louis. He moves forward to the crib where she’s laying, watching her move her little mouth into an _o_ and kick her feet. Louis is in love.

“Hello sweetheart,” he whispers, wishing he could hold her. “You’re just gorgeous, aren’t you? The most beautiful baby girl.”

She blows a spit bubble and startles herself when it pops. Louis is pretty sure his heart skips a beat.

“Her mother called her Amelia,” Nadine says as Harry comes to stand beside him. “She’ll be three months old on Monday, but she was two months premature.”

You can tell, Louis thinks. She has a monitor wrapped around her foot and a little tube up her nose, and she’s much tinier than he remembers Noah being at three months old. The diaper she’s wearing looks almost comically big on her. She’s absolutely beautiful though, with wrinkled brown skin, ten little fingers and toes, a gummy smile and a small tuft of unruly hair in the middle of her head. She kicks her feet and stares up at the two men staring at her and Harry lets out a soft breath beside Louis.

“The doctors are releasing her next week, and they believe she’ll be just fine. She has respiratory issues, though her doctor believes they’ll clear up as she gets stronger. There are of course other medical issues that could arise, but all of her screens have come up clear for anything serious. It’s really a matter of getting her the help she’s going to need in the next few weeks, and a home to go to when she’s discharged.”

Harry nods quickly. “Of course, poor darling, she’s had no one this whole time? What happened to her parents?”

The thought of her being so alone for three whole months is enough for Louis to get a bit choked up. Sure, she’s probably had nurses, and doctors, but she needed a family. Nadine, who surely should be used to these situations, even looks a bit sad about it as she explains what happened.

“She lost her mother after birth, and there isn’t any family willing to take her. I’ve given her case worker all of your paperwork and they agree with me that you’re more than capable of providing her with everything she needs. And honestly, I’ve seen you both together, I’ve seen you with Noah, and after all she’s been through I think she deserves that kind of love. She’s worth it.”

Louis smiles down at Amelia. “I think she’s perfect,” he sighs. “Aren’t you perfect, darling?”

Amelia moves her mouth in another smile and Louis almost forgot how badly he missed having a baby.

“Let me go get her doctor, she’ll be able to fill you in a bit better, and maybe you can even hold her!”

With that, Nadine leaves the room and they’re left alone. Harry wraps his arm around Louis’ waist and squeezes tightly.

“Do you feel it, Lou?” he whispers as they both stare down at their new daughter.

“Yeah,” Louis breathes. “I feel it.”

 

* * *

 

The week leading up to Amelia coming home is agonizing, in Louis’ opinion. Just the thought of her being in that hospital alone is enough for him to take time off work a bit early so either he or Harry can spend the nights with her. They’re on a first name basis with all of the nurses by the time she’s ready to come home, and they go on and on about how happy they are Amelia’s found a family.

It does give Louis and Harry a week to prepare the house and Noah, though, and go on shopping sprees. They soon find their home filled with pretty floral dresses, baby bottles, diapers, and little shoes she hardly needs but Louis loves.

Their adoption isn’t final the day her doctor calls and announces that she’s breathing well enough and eating well enough to come home. Technically for now, Louis and Harry are fostering her, but they’re in the very last stages of adoption. That gives Louis a bit of peace of mind, because the thought of anyone taking his baby from him now that she’s finally coming home could make him actually turn into the mama bear his friends have joked about him being.

She looks absolutely tiny in her car seat as Louis and Harry take her around to say goodbye to all of the nurses that have been caring for her for months now, finally free of the tubes and monitors that have been holding her back. It felt good, changing her clothes and holding her without worrying about tugging on something. Besides, she looks absolutely adorable in her little coat and soft grey outfit, complete with a hat that has a giant bow sewn on. Harry coos over her with the nurses for a solid minute before they leave.

Louis feels a bit terrified putting her in the back by herself, so Harry volunteers to sit with her while Louis drives. Amelia is much more awake now than she had been in the hospital, kicking her legs around now that she isn’t held down, and making all sorts of noises while Harry talks to her.

“I still think she might be cold,” Harry says to Louis as they near the house.

Louis shakes his head. “Love, she isn’t cold. You can’t put three jackets on a baby, it’s only September.”

“You don’t know that,” Harry shoots back. “She can’t talk, she can’t tell you if she’s cold!”

Louis smiles at him the rear-view mirror. “No, but she told me with her eyes that if I let you put another jacket on her, she was going to run away.”

“Liar,” Harry mutters, before looking back at Amelia. “Are you cold, baby? Huh? Is Daddy trying to freeze your little toes off?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Are you seriously trying to turn our daughter against me already?”

Harry smiles and shakes his head. “No. We have a daughter, Lou.”

“We have a daughter,” Louis sighs back. It feels insane to say, insane to even think about. A daughter.

“And we love you so much already sunshine,” Harry whispers. “Aren't you a little sunshine, huh? Such a beautiful smile!”

Louis smiles to himself and gently turns off onto their street. Their house is far off the road and the drive is a little bumpy, but Harry doesn't seem too concerned back there. Both Anne and Jay are waiting for them there with Noah, neither of them wanting to miss meeting their granddaughter for the first time, and seeing Noah meet his little sister.

Harry carries Amelia in in her car seat while Louis grabs the diaper bag and little bag of things to get her started the hospital sent along. The air outside the car hits them and Harry turns around on the heel of his boot to glare at Louis.

“Harry,” Louis sighs, already knowing what his husband is going to say. “Go inside.”

Harry frowns. “Why? Is it a bit chilly out here Lou? Bit like a little tiny six pound baby might need an extra jacket?”

“I hate you,” Louis replies with a smile he can’t hold back.

Harry smiles back and leans over to kiss him just before they walk in the door. It’s quiet inside, the only sound being the television on off in the distance with one of Noah’s cartoons. As soon as they shut the door, though, they can hear Noah gasping around the corner.

“Daddies! My baby sister, is she here now?”

Harry smiles. “She is bean, why don’t you go sit down and we’ll bring her in to you okay?”

Noah cheers loudly and Louis can hear him rummaging around their living room for something. When they walk in, Amelia still snug in her car seat, they find Noah sitting on the sofa between Anne and Jay holding a purple dinosaur with a bow around its neck.

Louis smiles. “Hi darling,” he says. “Are you excited to meet Amelia?”

Noah nods quickly, wiggling around a bit on the sofa. “Is she really here?”

“She really is,” Harry replies, walking in behind Louis and gently setting the car seat down on the other sofa. Noah’s eyes go wide and both of his grandmothers look close to tears.

“How is she?” Jay asks.

Harry smiles. “She’s fine now, we’ll need to take her in for checkups every couple of weeks and make sure she’s breathing okay between then. We also have to watch for any other issues that might come up, you know.”

Jay nods and says, “I can help any time, boys, I’m only a phone call away if you need me. I’ve had plenty of experience with preemies, but I’m sure she’s a fighter.”

Noah stands up carefully and sits down on the couch beside the car seat. He looks nervous, and when he catches Louis looking at him, he sighs.

“Daddy, what if she doesn’t like me?”

“How could she not like you?” Louis asks, kneeling to get on Noah’s level. “She’s going to be excited to meet you, Noah, you’re her big brother now. You have to protect her and love her no matter what, she needs you.”

Harry comes to sit beside Noah and hugs him tightly for a moment. “Are you ready love?” he whispers.

Noah takes a deep breath and then nods. “Okay, let me see.”

Noah, Anne, and Jay watch with baited breath as Louis carefully takes Amelia out of her car seat. She’s awake and alert and squirms a little as she takes in her no doubt blurry surroundings. Both their mums gasp, even though they’ve seen plenty of pictures by now, and Noah looks shocked.

“Noah,” Louis whispers, carefully holding Amelia so everyone can see her. “This is Amelia. Amelia, this is your big brother Noah. Do you want to hold her?”

Noah hesitates for a moment but soon nods and puts the purple dinosaur down in Harry’s lap. “Gotta ‘sport her neck,” he says very seriously. “Like my Perrie always says.”

Louis smiles and nods, mostly ignoring the fact that his mum is crying, along with Anne, and Harry seems about there as well. He moves carefully towards Noah who holds his arms just how Perrie has drilled into his head since his cousin was born. Louis carefully sets Amelia down in his arms and pulls away once he’s holding her, while Harry gently keeps on hand on Noah’s elbow.

Everything seems to go silent while the two look at each other. Noah studies her very closely, from the knitted hat covering her head down to her sock covered feet. Amelia studies him back, brown eyes looking strangely pensive for a three month old. She then reaches up and grabs a piece of Noah’s hair to tug.

Noah beams. “Hi, tiny baby,” he whispers, and Louis can feel himself tearing up already. “I’m your big brother Noah. I love you very much, no matter what, and I’m gonna show you everything. Gemma and I got you a dinosaur like mine, he’s called Hank, but her name’s Sarah, and I dunno if you like purple-Eva doesn’t like purple-but I picked it because it’s pretty, and you’re pretty too. It’s a long neck one, cause they have families like we do. I know a whole ton about dinosaurs, and the music too, like our Daddies do.”

Amelia moves her mouth into a smile, obviously entranced by Noah talking, and reaches up to press her hand to Noah’s cheek. He grins and looks up at his fathers for a moment before whispering to her again.

“I love you. I’m gonna be the very best big brother ever, I promise. Plus, we got the best dads ever, and they love you too-they love us equal. You’re the prettiest baby, just like Papa says. Do you want me to be your brother still? You can say no, if you wanna.”

Amelia makes a gurgling sound that Noah must take as a yes, because he leans down to very carefully kiss her forehead.

Later, Louis’ mum shows him the picture she got of the moment Amelia reached up and touched Noah’s face. He’s crying, Harry’s crying, and Noah looks happier than Louis has ever seen him. He makes a plan right then and there to have it framed and hang it up beside the picture of Noah and Harry and himself at Zayn’s wedding.

That’s his family, he thinks as he looks at it, small but perfect-just like Amelia.

 

* * *

 

Harry wakes up to find Louis’ side of the bed cold and the clock declaring it’s two in the morning. He frowns and sits up slowly, only to be startled by low murmuring coming from the baby monitor. He can’t make out what’s being said, but it’s Louis talking, he knows that.

Carefully, Harry wraps a blanket around himself and makes his way down the hall. Amelia’s door is cracked slightly open and he can look in enough to see Louis sitting curled up in a rocking chair, holding Amelia close and feeding her a bottle. Moonlight spills in through the window onto both of them and Louis is singing, Harry realizes, and he recognizes the song with a smile.

 _Isn_ _t she lovely?_

 _Isn_ _’t she wonderful?_

Harry knocks on the door quietly and Louis looks up, stopping his singing immediately.

“Hi, love,” Harry murmurs. “Thought I was doing feedings tonight?”

Louis has taken paternity leave at work, and Harry’s put everything he’s had going on on hold for a few months as well. They’re supposed to take turns getting up with Amelia, but Louis never seems to wake Harry up when he should.

“Habit,” he explains, and Harry supposes it must be. He supposes Louis sometimes forget Harry is there as well when their baby cries.

Harry walks across the room and sits down on the rocking chair beside Louis, smiling at Amelia who is lazily sucking at her bottle but is mostly asleep now. She blinks her eyes open a bit when she spots Harry and Louis laughs.

“Is that Papa?” he whispers to their daughter. “Has silly Papa come to see us, darling?”

Amelia lets go of her bottle long enough to smile at the two of them and Harry feels as though his heart could burst. If there’s one thing their daughter loves to do, it’s laugh, and smiling comes as a close second. The first time she let out a giggle was when Harry was giving her her first bath and gently tickling her tummy. His entire world paused for a moment, just because of that laugh, just as it does every time she smiles at him.

“You know, I think half the reason she thinks I’m so funny is because you call me silly Papa,” Harry points out.

Louis laughs. “He is silly, isn’t he baby?” he teases Amelia. Seeing her daddy smile just makes Amelia’s gummy smile widen and she lets out a tiny giggle.

“What are you two in here talking about?” Harry asks, gently pushing the chair back and forth.

Louis shrugs, putting the bottle back in Amelia’s mouth for her to finish. “I was telling her all about how she’s going to be my little football star-gotta start her young, you know. And then we read a bit of _Goodnight Moon_ , had a cry, had a bottle, and now we’re singing some Harry Styles classics.”

“Ah, I see,” Harry says, leaning over to kiss Louis’ temple. “Well, don’t stop on my account.”

Louis shakes his head and sighs. “Nah, now you’ve ruined the moment. She’s just about done anyway, I’m going to head back to bed in a minute.”

Harry nods and lays his head on Louis’ shoulder, watching Amelia finish her bottle. Louis burps her on his shoulder quickly and then the two of them are walking out of the nursery Amelia’s hardly slept in and back to their room.

“Wake me up next time,” Harry whispers to Louis as they lay down. “I mean it, Lou, your eyes have gone all purple and you need sleep too. It can’t be just you against the world, she’s my daughter too. We’re in this together.”

Louis nods and carefully moves Amelia so she’s on Harry’s chest. She smiles at him and rests her head just under his chin, grabbing a hold on his arm with her little mitten covered hands.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs.

“Don’t be sorry,” Harry says. “Just trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Louis says, reaching out for Harry’s hand. “Baby, of course I trust you, it’s not that. I just-I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just reflex for me to go through the motions, you know?”

Harry nods and squeezes Louis’ hand. “Okay. I love you, Louis. Try to get some sleep.”

Louis closes his eyes and rests his head against Harry’s shoulder. He’s out in moments, and Amelia reaches out to gently pat his face. Harry smiles and moves her hand away before she wakes him.

“We love Daddy, don’t we sweet pea?” Harry whispers to her. “What would we do without him, hm? Our entire world would fall to pieces.”

Amelia holds her head up on her own for a moment, patting Harry’s chin with her hand. She’s soon falling down again, resting with her stomach to Harry’s and closing her eyes.

Louis snuffles against his neck and Harry smiles. Thank god they’ll never have to know, he thinks as he carefully brushes through Amelia’s hair until she falls asleep on his chest.

 

* * *

 

When they take Amelia around to meet everyone, Noah is almost as frazzled about it as his fathers are. He watches everyone at Louis’ office take a turn holding her with narrowed eyes until Zayn holds her, who he seems to trust a bit better than Jade or Jesy. They head to Lottie’s flat next, car slowly piling up with gifts.

They never had a baby shower, simply because they hadn’t known they were getting Amelia until they had her, but that doesn’t seem to stop their friends.

His sisters buy them a million clothes, more than Amelia really needs, and Louis’ friends at work go in together on a couple of big items like a stroller that they happily present to their favorite boss. Liam buys her a pair of tiny shoes, which Louis loves to death, and Niall sends them a onesie with an Irish flag on it that says _If you think I_ _’m cute you should see my uncle!_ that he’s obviously had someone make while he’s on tour, which makes Harry laugh for a solid minute.

Gemma’s flat is the furthest they go, and Noah is stressed out about it more than anyone else. He sits in the back with Amelia, holding onto her tiny fingers and scowling.

“My daddy, you must drive safer!” he says when Louis turns a corner.

Harry covers his laughter with his hand but Louis just rolls his eyes. “This is how I always drive,” he calls back to his son. “I drove like this when you were little.”

Noah sighs, obviously not liking that answer. “I dunno. You aren’t very careful with our tiny baby.”

Harry doesn’t bother trying to cover his laughter then and Louis thanks him for it by punching him on the arm.

When they finally make it to Gemma’s, safe and sound, Eva is waiting for them at the door. She’s buzzing around them, trying to peek into the car seat where Amelia is chewing on her fist, and Noah is glaring at her.

“Can’t touch her if you don’t wash your hands,” he warns her.

Eva sighs heavily at him. “I know that!”

Noah frowns and crosses his arms as Harry and Louis greet Gemma. “Didn’t see you wash your hands, Eva,” he says.

Eva sighs once more and stomps off to the bathroom. Noah chases after her, yelling, “She’s a tiny baby! We have to be careful, she could get sick!”

Gemma watches him go and looks back to Louis. “You’ve got a mini Harry running around.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “I know, between the two of them Amelia’s never going to leave the house again.”

When Noah and Eva finally return, Noah apparently confident that Eva’s hands are washed, Louis helps Eva hold Amelia. She watches the baby with wide eyes while Noah hovers around to supervise.

“’Sport her neck, Eva,” he reminds his cousin.

Eva glares at him, looking so much like Gemma for a moment Louis could laugh. Their relationship reminds him a lot of Harry and Gemma, actually. They love each other to death, they’re best friends, but they bicker nonstop, each of them more stubborn than the other at any given moment.

“I know,” Eva says haughtily. “I have a baby brother! I can hold babies, No!”

“You have to be careful,” Noah shoots back. “She’s _my_ baby sister, gotta be ’sponsibile.”

Louis hushes his son and pulls him back by his shoulder. “Noah, Eva’s doing a great job. I think you need to take a couple deep breaths lad, you’re going to give yourself a panic attack.”

Noah sighs heavily and crosses his arms, watching Gemma sit down beside Eva and look down at Amelia. “Fine, but Eva will break my Amelia and I’ll be mad. Cannot blame me.”

“How about if I watch her too?” Gemma asks, obviously trying not to laugh.

Noah shrugs. “You and my Daddy are not very careful with tiny babies.”

“Harold, come and hold your son,” Louis calls.

Harry appears out of the kitchen and picks Noah up, sitting down across from everyone else with Noah in his lap. They watch on as Eva talks to Amelia, asking her all sorts of questions. Gemma always jokes that Eva’s hit her teenage years a bit early, and Louis can’t help but agree. She has all the sass of her mother stuck in the body of a four year old, and it’s absolutely hilarious to watch.

“I love my sister, Papa,” Louis hears Noah whisper to Harry.

Harry smiles and kisses Noah’s cheek. “She loves you too, little bean. Look at her.”

Sure enough, even though Eva is talking to her, Amelia only has eyes for Noah. She’s smiling at her older brother, like she almost always is, entranced by his every move.

Louis had worried as he supposes any parent does about how having another child would affect Noah. But he shouldn’t have, he realizes. Noah loves Amelia, _even if she does stink sometimes_ as he says, and Amelia absolutely adores him. Everything he does makes her laugh, and Noah loves that sound. He brags to everyone he knows now about being a big brother, and has even gotten evil Stanley to play nice with Amelia while she has tummy time.

Louis catches Harry’s eyes and his husband smiles, wrapping his arm around Noah’s waist. He never had anything to worry about, he thinks as Harry mouths something to him.

 _I love you,_ he’s saying.

Louis smiles. _I love you too,_ he mouths back.

_Always have, and always will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was quick!! But most of this was written almost two years ago, so I guess that makes sense :) I hope you enjoyed all that fluff!! 
> 
> (Also, I wanted to mention talking about having the builders in made me think about that one Inbetweeners scene with which meant I had to watch The Inbetweeners all over again, obviously)
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287) | [tumblr](https://amories.tumblr.com)


	4. the paternity leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia goes to the doctor, Harry gets jealous, and there may or may not be an award involved.

Harry’s favorite part of the day is morning. He loves waking up to the sun filtering in through the curtains, to Louis cuddling him and pressing his face to Harry’s back, to Louis’ hands on his chest. He loves gently pulling away and walking down the hall to check on Noah first, who sleeps in just like Louis does, and then to Amelia’s nursery.

The yellow paint on the walls give the room a glow in the mornings, and Harry loves gently waking his baby up to hold her while his boys wake up as well. It never takes long for Louis to miss him and come grumbling down the hall to find him. He can hear the bed moving already as he turns Amelia’s lamp on.

“Darling,” he whispers, walking up to the crib, only to immediately exclaim, “What the hell?”

From the hall, Harry can hear Louis laughing at him. He walks in, still wearing only his boxers from the night before.

“What is happening in here?” he asks.

“Louis, it’s that awful cat!” Harry says, pointing down to the cot.

Stanley doesn’t even wake up at Harry’s talking. He just continues to sleep in the corner of Amelia’s mattress, spread out like he owns the place. Amelia is sleeping soundly with one hand lifted above her, firmly grasping the cat’s tail, though Stanley doesn’t seem to mind. If Harry even tried to do that, he’d lose a hand.

Louis immediately starts laughing and runs out of the room only to come back with his phone to take pictures. Harry frowns.

“It isn’t funny,” he hisses. “Lou, don’t cats smother babies all the time?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Babe, if Stanley was going to smother her I’m sure he would’ve done it already.”

Harry scowls, not liking that answer in the least, and pushes Louis out of the way to pick Amelia up. Stanley growls a bit but doesn’t seem to be too bothered by Harry pulling the baby away and gently tugging his tail. Harry holds Amelia to his chest and glares down at him.

“If you try to smother her, you’re sleeping on the streets,” he says.

Stanley responds by winking his one eye and jumping out of the cot. He stretches his legs a bit, taking his sweet time as he winds his way through Harry and Louis’ legs and out the door.

Louis snorts. “Like he owns the damn place,” he murmurs.

“You shouldn’t swear in front of Amelia, she’s impressionable,” Harry replies. Amelia picks her head up a bit at the sound of her name and settles against Harry’s chest.

Louis smiles and walks over to Harry, pressing his chest to Harry’s back. Amelia blinks her eyes open and smiles at both of her fathers.

“Sunshine,” Louis sing songs, and Amelia perks up immediately. “You have no idea what I’m saying, do you? Daddy can say anything he likes, you’d just laugh. Shit, hell-”

“Louis!” Harry gasps, using one hand to cover Amelia’s ears while she laughs. “Stop it, I don’t want her first word to be something awful.”

Louis laughs and kisses Harry’s cheek before turning to walk away. “We both know her first word is going to be Dada, Harold, let’s just face it,” he calls over his shoulder. “Get your kit on Styles, we haven’t got all day.”

Harry looks down at Amelia and frowns. “Papa,” he says as he carries her to her changing table. “Can you say Papa, Amelia? We’ve got to prove Daddy wrong now.”

Amelia just laughs and proceeds to slap Harry in the face with yelling, “Ah!”

Close enough, Harry supposes.

Harry carefully changes Amelia out of her pajamas and into her prettiest yellow dress, which will eventually get covered up by her coat, but Harry just likes knowing she’s wearing it. Louis thinks it’s okay to take her around wearing the clothes she wears at home, like onesies and t-shirts and her little stretchy pants, but Harry lives to dress their daughter up. He’s gone a bit stir crazy lately, which has led to many an online shopping spree and Amelia’s wardrobe being full to bursting.

“They can be hand me downs for our next daughter,” he tells Louis every time he complains about the things Amelia is no doubt going to outgrow in a month. That usually shuts his husband up long enough for Harry to sneak in a few more cute dresses.

After getting Amelia dressed and clipping a bow into her hair, Harry passes her off onto Louis so he can shower and get dressed himself. When he finally joins them downstairs, he finds Noah waiting for them, eating a bowl of cereal at the kitchen island.

“Hi Papa,” he says casually when Harry walks in. “We’re gonna be late.”

Harry laughs and kisses Noah’s forehead as he passes. “We’re not going to be late, darling. Would I ever make you late?”

“No,” Noah says. “But Daddy would.”

Louis scoffs as he walks in, holding Amelia in his arms. “Excuse me, boys,” he says.

“He does have a point, love, you are quite good at being late,” Harry points out, hiding his smile as he makes himself a thermos of tea to take with them.

Louis shakes his head and looks down at Amelia quite seriously. “That’s it, we’re ditching Papa,” he tells her. “Say bye bye, silly Papa, no Amelias for you today!”

Of course Amelia has no clue what Louis is saying, but she still shrieks with laughter.

“What about me?” Noah asks through a mouthful of coco pops.

“You can stay with your father,” Louis decides. “And Amelia and I will run off together and be late all we want.”

Harry huffs out a laugh. “Whatever you say, Lewis. Come on boys, we really do need to leave soon to make it there on time.”

Noah salutes Harry and then proceeds to tip his cereal bowl up and drink everything left in it. He gets a bit of chocolate milk on his school blazer, but Harry will let it slide for today. Someone-Louis-thought it’d be a great idea to schedule appointments for them right after they’re supposed to be dropping off Noah at school.

Important appointments, actually. Like a checkup for Amelia, and a meeting with their social worker to sign their adoption papers. Cheers Louis, really.

“So,” Noah says as he’s putting his shoes on. “Amelia’s gonna be ours forever now, huh?”

Louis laughs. “Yeah, babe. Why, were you thinking about sending her back?”

Noah shakes his head. “No, Daddy! I’m just making sure, that’s all.”

“Oh, that’s all,” Louis teases.

Noah walks over to Harry who is carefully strapping Amelia into her car seat. He smiles down at his sister and reaches his finger out for her to squeeze.

“My Amelia,” he says. “You’re gonna be ours forever now. I know Papa and Daddy told me no one was gonna take you away, but I was still kinda scared.”

Harry frowns and shoots Louis a look. “Bean,” Harry whispers. “Darling, Amelia’s not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I know, but I’m still her big brother. Gotta protect her.”

Harry turns and hugs Noah tightly. “You’re such a good boy, Noah, you know that?” he murmurs. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Papa,” Noah whispers back. “Love my daddies and Amelia.”

They leave the house in a flurry of chaos and Noah and Louis bickering over his backpack. Amelia watches everyone with wide eyes until Harry sets her down in the back next to Noah, which seems to calm her down a bit.

Noah leaves her with a kiss goodbye and a loud, “Good luck baby Melia!” over his shoulder before he runs into school with Louis at his side.

They have Amelia’s doctor’s appointment first, which Harry absolutely hates because it means giving her shots. Giving her shots means that Amelia cries, and when Amelia cries Harry follows suit. She looks at both of her fathers like they’ve deeply betrayed her when the nurse carefully pricks her in the thigh for the second time.

“Baby,” Louis laughs a bit, kissing Harry’s temple. “She’s fine, I promise.”

“She isn’t fine,” Harry whispers back. “She hates us, she wants new parents.”

Louis bites down on a smile and rubs Harry’s back in soothing circles until the nurse backs away and leaves Amelia with a plaster. She’s still scowling and hiccupping through her sobs like she hates the entire world while Harry carefully dresses her again and hugs her to his chest, whispering apologies in her ear.

The doctor arrives soon after with a big smile and starts going over Amelia’s chart with them before they have to leave.

“Her weight gain has been right on track,” she says, flipping through the different notes. “And she seems to be adjusting well to her new environment. I’ve heard today’s a very big day for you.”

Louis’ eyes light up and Harry can’t help but smile right along with him. “It’s adoption day,” he says. “We’re very excited.”

The doctor smiles right back at both of them and shuts the chart. “Well, good luck. I’ll see you in two weeks for our next appointment, but I think after that, as long as everything is going as well as it is now, we can start spacing them out a bit more.”

As soon as she’s out the door, Harry beams happily and looks down to Amelia. “Hear that sunshine? You’re doing so well!” he coos, dancing her around the room in an attempt to stop her sniffling.

Amelia giggles and rests her head against Harry’s neck. “Ah,” she sighs.

“I’m so proud of you,” Harry replies. “You’re working very hard, aren’t you darling? Doing your very best at everything, the best little girl in the whole world, yes you are!”

When Harry looks up, he finds Louis smiling at him, watching the entire exchange with soft eyes.

“What?” Harry asks, stopping his dance short.

Louis shakes his head and holds an arm out. “Come here?”

“We have to get going soon,” Harry tells him, stepping forward into Louis’ outstretched arm. “We have to make it there on time to-oh.”

Harry stops talking, because Louis is kissing him now, one arm holding Harry in by the waist. Amelia’s squished between their chests, obviously more focused on chewing on her fists than her fathers. Louis smiles against Harry’s lips and moves to kiss his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids.

“I love you so much,” he whispers against Harry’s cheekbone. “Do you know that?”

Harry smiles. “Yeah. I love you too, Lou.”

“Pretty,” Louis sighs, running his hand under the button up Harry’s wearing. “Most beautiful husband and the best kids, how did I get so lucky?”

“I don’t know,” Harry sighs. “I ask myself the same thing every day.”

 

* * *

 

Harry loves Louis, he really does, with all of his heart-but sometimes he hates him. Now is certainly one of those times.

They’re at the park with the kids, celebrating the last really nice day before it starts raining and turning cold again as fall sets in. Noah is running wild around the entire place, kicking up wood chips and leading an elaborate game of freeze tag, and Amelia is laughing as Harry carefully pushes her on the baby swings. Louis was trusted to get ice cream, but he seems to have gotten lost on his way back.

Although he isn’t lost, Harry soon finds, because as he picks Amelia up to go to the slide he finds his devoted husband standing at the edge of the park laughing with another man.

It’s been awhile since they’ve left the house to do anything other than take Noah to school or go to a doctor’s appointment. Louis is still on paternity leave, and Harry can’t bear the thought of leaving them right now. As well as Amelia is doing, she still has appointments and isn’t sleeping through the night, and Noah needs help with school. It’s a lot for two people to handle, let alone one.

So yes, maybe they’re a bit sick of one another. Unless family or friends are visiting, they’re the only adults around for miles. It can get boring watching the same cartoons over and over, waking up on a schedule every night to feed Amelia, helping Noah with his reading, falling into bed too exhausted to even look at one another at night. But it isn’t so boring that Louis should be flirting with other men.

Well, he isn’t exactly flirting, but still. The man he’s standing with definitely is, and Harry is going to put a stop to that thank you very much.

Harry holds Amelia tightly as he makes his way across the park. As he gets closer, he can hear both men talking about their children. Louis is holding three bowls with sundaes in them that are starting to melt, and smiling at the stupid guy which Harry hates.

“Lou?” Harry calls.

Louis turns and his face immediately lights up. Harry knows he doesn’t look his best. Amelia’s spit up on the grey t-shirt he’s wearing, which is too small, but is also the only clean thing he owns anymore. His hair is a complete mess, stuck in that awkward phase between not quite short enough and not quite long enough, and he’s pretty sure he has a massive zit on his chin. He can’t remember the last time he showered, and he’s frowning to top it all off, which he’s sure just makes him look even better.

“Darlings,” Louis coos, setting the ice creams down on a table so he can hold an arm out for Harry. Harry soon finds himself standing by Louis’ side, frowning at the beautiful man across from them as he husband’s fingers skate over his hip.

Louis gestures to Amelia and says, “This is my daughter I was telling you about, and this is my husband, Harry. Harry, this is Michael, his daughter goes to school with Noah.”

Harry nods but says nothing, resorting to just looking this Michael guy up and down. He isn’t sure if Louis has a type, but he supposes Michael could be anyone’s type. He has these big muscled arms and eyes that are a pretty amber brown, and no spit up on his shirt. All good qualities someone probably looks for in a man.

“I’m going to run this over to Noah, I’ll be right back,” Louis says. He grabs one of the bowls of ice cream and gives Harry and Michael a fake smile before fleeing.

And so they’re left alone, Harry dutifully ignoring Michael’s eyes. Instead, he focuses on Amelia who’s smiling as Harry bounces them around a bit.

“So uh,” Michael says, clearing his throat so Harry will look at him. “I’ve heard Noah is very good friends with Jill. She’s my daughter.”

Harry nods. “Noah says so,” he says.

“I, uh,” Michael pauses for a moment. “Louis seems like a really amazing dad.”

“He is,” Harry says curtly. “We’re very lucky to have him.”

Michael gives Harry a look that he immediately hates and then says, “You are.”

Harry scowls at him and turns to see Louis and Noah walking up to them.

“Well, I’d better get Jill and head home,” Michael announces, and then he disappears.

Louis frowns when he walks up and finds Michael has fled. “Where’d he go?” he asks.

“Who knows? Why don’t you go find out if you’re so worried,” Harry grumbles before stalking away.

Both of his boys follow. Louis looks worried, of course, but Noah seems much more focused on his ice cream. They sit down together at the table beside them, Louis trying his hardest to make eye contact with Harry who is doing his best to avoid it.

“Harry,” Louis starts.

Harry hums, ignoring him in favor of carefully putting Amelia back into her pram.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Louis asks.

Harry shrugs. “Nothing,” he says.

Noah groans. “Uh oh,” he murmurs. “That means Papa’s upset.”

Despite himself, Harry laughs. “Why do you think that, bean?” he asks, turning to look at his son.

Noah has ice cream all over his mouth and is currently licking his spoon and trying to stick it to his nose. “You always say, ‘It’s nothing’, but it isn’t,” he says with a shrug. “And it means you’re mad. I know it, my Papa, I know everything about you.”

Harry smiles and shakes his head. “I’m okay, love, I promise,” he lies. “Eat your ice cream.”

Noah pulls his spoon off of his nose and goes back to eating, but he keeps drifting his eyes from Louis to Harry. They end up finishing their ice cream and heading home in complete silence, Louis looking nervous the entire time, and Harry avoiding his gaze. He’s being over dramatic and stupid, and he knows that, but he can’t help it.

Sometimes he worries about things like this, even though he shouldn’t. He worries about Louis leaving, or Louis making him leave. He worries about Louis getting sick of him like so many others have gotten sick of him before. And realistically, Harry knows that’s ridiculous, but he can’t help it.

They put Amelia down for her nap with they get home and Noah goes into his room to play with Stanley, because he’s decided he’s too big for naps, even though he usually falls asleep as well. Louis does this on purpose, Harry realizes, because he soon finds himself cornered by Louis in their living room.

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sound being Amelia’s even breathing over the baby monitor. Harry is sitting on the couch, ignoring Louis who is approaching him carefully like some kind of rabid animal.

“Harry,” Louis says.

“Just leave me alone, I’m gross,” Harry mutters, curling up against the corner of the couch. He covers his head with his arms and closes his eyes.

Louis sighs. “Baby,” he murmurs, carefully crawling across the couch. He tugs at Harry’s arm until Harry releases and lets Louis look at him. “Darling, what is going on? Why are you so upset, I really don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t,” Harry mutters.

“Harry,” Louis says again, blue eyes terribly sad and pleading. “Please, just talk to me.”

Harry sniffles and turns to lean his head on Louis’ shoulder. “It’s stupid,” he whispers.

“I’m sure it isn’t stupid if you’re this upset,” Louis replies, wrapping his arm around Harry’s shoulder and pulling him in closer. “Just talk to me, love, I’ll fix it.”

Harry closes his eyes again, mostly because he can’t stand to look at Louis when he talks. “That guy at the park was flirting with you,” he murmurs.

“Who? Noah’s friend’s dad?” Louis seems to think it over for a moment, and when Harry peeks up at him he finds his husband smiling. “Damn, I’ve still got it huh?”

Harry groans, hiding his face against Louis’ ribs. “ _Louis_. I hate you.”

“Oh love,” Louis laughs, burying one hand in Harry’s curls. “Baby, are you jealous of some dad at the park? Is that what this has been about?”

Harry pouts against Louis’ shirt and shrugs. “You were flirting back,” he whispers.

“I was absolutely not flirting back,” Louis chuckles. “Baby, we were talking about the kids. It’s really hard to flirt while you’re talking about spelling and reading levels.”

“Well, he was doing it well enough,” Harry says. “So maybe you should just go be with him then.”

Louis kisses Harry’s forehead and when Harry picks his head up, he finds his husband frowning. “You know it’s funny,” Louis says. “You don’t have a fever, but you’re talking like a crazy person. Are you sure you’re okay? Have you hit your head or something and forgotten to tell me?”

“It’s not so ridiculous,” Harry says. “You’re like, _you_ , and I look a mess all the time. This is my last clean shirt and I haven’t washed my hair in ages.”

“I haven’t shaved in days and this is also my last clean shirt,” Louis replies. “So, are you saying doing laundry will keep men from flirting with me?”

Harry groans and pulls away. “It’s just been stressful lately,” he says. “With the kids, we’ve both been running on basically no sleep, and I don’t look my best. I wouldn’t blame you if you did want to flirt with other men.”

“Do you really think I’d do that?” Louis asks, looking offended.

Harry is quick to deny that. “No, Lou, no, of course not. I’m sorry, this is me not you. I just got jealous seeing you talk to a guy who is hot and flirting with you knowing you’ve been stuck with me looking like this for weeks now.”

“Harry,” Louis laughs. “Darling, I don’t care how you look, that doesn’t make me want you any less. I think you’re beautiful, always, no matter what. Besides, your greasy hair is starting to grow on me. You pull it off well, you look quite handsome.”

Harry groans loudly and goes back to hiding his face in Louis’ shirt. He reaches out and clutches at Louis’ sides, not wanting to give the other man any reason to leave.

“I love you,” he says. “Thank you for not getting sick of me.”

“I could never be sick of you,” Louis murmurs, running his hand through Harry’s curls. “I know I don’t tell you enough, but you are doing an amazing job Haz. You’re doing so well taking care of your babies.”

Harry smiles and looks up when he says, “You’re my baby too.”

Louis laughs. “Not what I meant, darling, but thank you. You’re the best father in the world, Harry, and they are both so lucky to have you. And so am I, don’t think I’ll ever forget that. I would never want anything more than this, I can’t even imagine being without you.”

Harry hides his blushing cheeks against Louis’ chest. “You’re sure?” he whispers.

“Love, I’ve got your initials tattooed on me arse,” Louis teases. “Trust me, I’m sure.”

Harry sighs happily, content now in hearing Louis’ reassurances. He was foolish for ever worrying, he realizes that now. Louis loves him, and Harry loves him just as much, even if he is a bit oblivious sometimes.

“Come on love,” Louis says. “Let’s run you a bath, you deserve some time to relax. I’ll even wash your hair for you.”

Harry smiles. “Yeah? Can we take a nap after?” he asks.

“Can’t guarantee a child or two won’t end up joining eventually, but yes, love, absolutely.”

Louis helps harry up off the couch, wrapping an arm around his waist as they head up the stairs together. Louis runs him a bath with an inordinate amount of bubbles, peppering kisses all over his face as he sits. As promised, Louis carefully washes his growing curls, massaging his scalp and just about putting Harry to sleep right there and then. Once they’re done, Louis appears wraps him up in a fluffy robe and does his best to wrap Harry’s hair up in a towel before leading him to bed.

They lay together, Louis gently untangling Harry’s damp curls and humming to him while Harry falls asleep on his chest. He feels like he hasn’t taken a nap in ages, or showered in ages, or even slept alone with Louis in ages.

“I love you,” he mumbles as he falls asleep, eyes too heavy to keep open any longer.

“I love you too,” Louis whispers. “Go to sleep, my darling.”

And Harry does.

 

* * *

 

Their first big trip away from home is to the Grammy’s, of all places. Louis isn’t entirely sure how he’s agreed to this, but he soon finds himself and Harry wrangling Noah and Amelia onto a plane and flying out to LA. He also isn’t sure about when exactly this became his life, but he supposes it might’ve been when he signed the marriage license. Either that, or the moment he found out Harry’s sophomore album was nominated for _Album of the Year_ and insisted they _had_ to go.

Surprisingly, Amelia is fine on the plane. Even though the both of them were terribly worried, she’s seven months old now, and her doctor said she’s more than strong enough to fly. She cries a bit when her ears pop, but there’s no one on the plane but the four of them and Lottie, so Louis and Harry are able to carry her around and let her cry it out.

“I miss my Stanley,” Noah announces once they’re halfway over the ocean, yelling to be heard over Amelia’s crying.

Harry laughs so hard Louis is worried he might pass out.

They spend their first night in LA passed out in their hotel. Lottie is the only one who ventures away. She’s tagged along under the guise of wanting to see LA and watch Amelia for them, but Louis knows she’s looking to get her portfolio out and look for new opportunities.

There are very few people Harry and Louis trust with their daughter, and it doesn’t really go past their family. Even leaving her with Lottie for only a few hours has Louis close to panicking.

“You have our numbers, and Harry’s assistant's number, if you need anything at all just call me. I’m not turning my phone off, not even for a second, I’ll answer if you need me.”

Lottie laughs. “Louis, relax. It’s going to be fine. This little darling and I are going to have some much needed girl time,” she says, tickling Amelia’s feet where she’s laying on the hotel bed. “Aren’t we love?”

Amelia laughs right back at her aunt, though she obviously doesn’t know what she’s saying. Louis will be shocked if he gets back tonight and she isn’t covered in bows and nail varnish.

“She’ll be great,” Harry says, giving Lottie a confident smile. “You don’t need to be nervous, Lou.”

Noah nods. “Yeah, my Lottie’s best with babies. She’ll be careful with our Melia.”

“Thank you for that vote of confidence, darling,” Lottie laughs at her nephew. She carefully picks Amelia up and lifts her hand up to start waving. “Say bye bye, Amelia! Bye bye, go away now dads.”

Louis rolls his eyes and steps forward to pick her up. As always, Amelia smiles as soon as she’s passed into Louis’ arms. She knows only two words and as soon as she sees Louis, she starts with them.

“Dada,” she says.

“Hello, sunshine,” Louis sighs. “Are you going to be good for Auntie Lottie tonight? Going to have some girl time?”

Amelia smiles and stretches her arms to give Louis what he likes to consider a hug. “Dadada,” she responds.

“I love you so much,” Louis whispers in her ear. “I do, sunshine.”

Harry smiles at the two of them in that way he has where he couldn’t possibly look more content. He gets Amelia next who starts giggling as soon as she’s in his arms.

“Pa,” she says.

Harry’s face lights up. Louis remembers the first time Amelia said it, almost a month ago now. Harry had cried, had listened to Amelia repeat the one syllable until she fell asleep that night.

“It feels amazing,” he’d whispered to Louis. “Just like the first time, when Noah said it. Like my world just changed.”

Amelia pats Harry’s face gently, continuing her babbling.

“Sweet pea,” Harry coos. “I love you so much, sweet girl, you’re going to have the best time tonight.”

Lottie shakes her head. “If you two keep going on like this, you’re going to miss the entire show. We’ll be watching here, promise. She’ll barely have time to miss you.”

Noah nods in agreement, carefully fixing the blazer Louis’ made him wear. He looks adorable, Louis thinks, wearing a pair of jeans and a band shirt under his blazer. He’s even let Lottie do his hair a bit so it’s not as unruly as always. He looks like Harry, Louis realizes with a start.

“We gotta go, Daddies!” Noah says, pulling on Louis’ hand. “Papa’s gotta win, but he can’t if we don’t go.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m going to win, baby bean, but thank you for the confidence.”

“Of course you’ll win,” Louis decides, passing Amelia back to Lottie. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Harry shrugs, obviously trying to appear nonchalant. “Well, I’m up against Adele for one.”

“I dunno who that is, but you’re better Papa,” Noah says.

Everyone starts laughing, though Noah obviously has no clue why. He just smiles at them all, looking very proud in supporting his father. They manage to leave just in time to make it to the car waiting for them outside of the hotel, leaving Amelia in Lottie’s capable hands, though Louis is still a bit concerned.

The crowds are absolutely insane, Louis thinks as their car slowly approaches the red carpet. Noah looks just as confused as Louis, frowning at everyone they pass by who’s screaming.

“Why’re they yelling?” he asks. “We’re right here.”

Louis snorts and shrugs. “They’re just excited, babe, that’s all.”

“Well, it’s very loud,” Noah comments.

Harry nods, looking a bit nervous. It’s been a long time since he’s done anything like this, and Louis knows that he’s practically shaking from the adrenaline rush. It makes Louis feel a bit bad that he isn’t going out there with him.

“It’s alright, love,” Harry says to Noah. “You and Daddy are going to meet me inside, no one’s yelling at you today.”

“Well that’s good,” Noah decides. “We can wait for you Papa.”

Harry laughs and leans over to kiss Noah’s temple. “Thank you, darling. I’ll see you both inside.”

Louis smiles and kisses Harry before patting his back. “Go on, love, we’ll be waiting for you.”

“Okay,” Harry says with a smile that’s just tinged with nervousness. “I love you.”

“We love you too,” Louis says, squeezing Harry’s hand before he leaves.

The minute Harry steps out of the car, the crowd goes even crazier. Camera flashes go off in blinding amounts and people start shouting his name. Louis is suddenly so grateful he doesn’t have to go out there, so grateful that he’s behind the scenes. Their drivers pulls up a bit more to where Harry’s smiley new assistant is waiting for them as soon as they step out of the car.

“Louis!” she greets, enthusiastic as ever. “And Noah, how are you both?”

Louis smiles back, helping Noah out of the car. “Hello, Lucy.”

As usual, Lucy starts in on another one of her patented rants. She talks a lot, probably more than anyone Louis has ever met, but she pairs that with being terribly sweet. Noah seems to be the only one who can really keep up with her, while Louis mostly nods and smiles in what he hopes are the right places.

“Harry’s suit looks fantastic,” she says as they make their way through the line of people headed inside. Lucy flashes people this badge that apparently declares they’re allowed to be there and they’re waved through. “I heard you helped him pick it, you have such good taste Louis, really. And Noah, I love your outfit, you look so cute! The cameras will absolutely eat you up.”

Noah frowns, squeezing Louis’ hand so his father will look at him. “They’re going to eat me?” he whispers.

“No, love, they aren’t going to eat you,” Louis teases. “It’s a figure of speech.”

Noah nods and goes back to listening to Lucy talk until they get to their seats. Other people are starting to file in from the carpet, people Louis would’ve been star struck by as a teenager. Now, he’s more focused on getting Noah to sit still and replying to the pictures Lottie has sent him of Amelia watching Harry on telly.

It feels like ages before Harry appears again, looking a bit sweaty and exhausted as he takes his seat beside Noah.

“Jesus,” he mutters, sounding breathless. “It’s been forever since I’ve done that.”

Louis smiles and leans over Noah to kiss him. “Did it go okay?” he whispers, gently fixing Harry’s shirt. It’s sheer black, to match the floral suit he’s wearing. All of his tattoos are on display through it, and Louis finds himself thinking that he can’t wait to get him back to their hotel tonight.

“Yeah, it was great,” Harry says, smiling finally. “They asked a lot about you and I, and the kids. I guess they were surprised that you and Noah didn’t come out there with me.”

Louis laughs and shakes his head. “I bet you gave them all sorts of parenting advice, didn’t you?”

Harry’s cheeks go red, an obvious yes. He shrugs bashfully. “I just said we don’t think it’s healthy, that’s all, especially when Noah obviously doesn’t want to be out there. We make decisions together as parents on what’s best for our kids, that’s all I said.”

“Harry Styles, father of the year,” Louis teases, calling what will certainly be in the headlines tomorrow. “You’re so cute, H, you know that? You’re going to win tonight, I know it. Do you have your speech with you?”

Harry shrugs, ignoring Louis’ eyes when he says, “I haven’t actually got a speech.”

Louis’ eyes go wide and he hits Harry’s arm. “Harry! What’s going to happen when you win, then what?”

“I’m just going to wing it, I guess,” Harry laughs. “But I won’t win.”

Louis shakes his head, muttering _wing it_ under his breath. He reaches out, holding Harry’s hand in his own behind Noah’s back. Their son doesn’t seem at all phased by the people around him, or the celebrities who stop to congratulate Harry on his nominations.

“Whatever you say, love,” Louis sighs. “Whatever you say.”

 

* * *

 

Harry wins Album of the Year, but he’s not sure if it’s real.

He smiles when they pan to him and announce that he’s a nominee just as he has all night. Noah is practically vibrating with excitement at his side, and Harry can only think about how disappointed his son will be when he loses.

And then they’re opening up an envelope on stage and Harry vaguely registers everyone around him clapping and yelling. Louis is calling his name, his manager is as well beside him, and Noah is now standing on his seat to hug him tightly around the neck. When Harry looks up, he finds their faces on a big screen being projected to people around the world.

“Harry, go!” Louis is laughing, Harry barely registering the words over the blood rushing in his ears and the applause. “Baby, you won!”

That sinks in a bit faster. Harry hugs Noah back and reaches out to kiss Louis before walking up to the stage. He’s spent far longer trying to get what’s happening through his head than any other winner tonight, and he feels terribly unprepared as he takes his little statue from a smiling actress and finds himself standing at a microphone, staring out onto the crowd.

“Uh,” he starts, and a laugh ripples through the crowd. Harry smiles and starts over, looking down at the award in his hand. “My husband earlier tonight asked me where I had put my speech, and when I told him I never had one he laughed at me. So, I guess he was right as he usually is, I probably should’ve planned ahead a bit.”

Another laugh runs through the crowd. When Harry looks out he can see Noah still standing on his chair in the third row, cheering. Harry smiles at him and starts running through the list of names that pop up in his mind; everyone at his management, the people who helped produce the album, his family, Liam and Niall, until finally there are only three people left.

“Louis,” Harry starts, feeling breathless from talking so fast. When he looks out once more, he can see Louis beaming with pride. “Thank you for loving me, for listening, and for being my inspiration in every sense of the word. I fall more in love with you every day, and I never could’ve done this without you. And finally, to Noah and Amelia. Darlings, you’ll never know just how much I love you, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to both of you. Everything I do is for the three of you, and this is for you too. Thank you so much.”

Music swells in the background as Harry steps back and lets himself take it all in. Everyone is clapping for him, people that Harry has beat out that he feels he really shouldn’t have, people far more famous and accomplished than he could ever dream of being. They’re all standing there, watching him, cheering him on. It’s everything he’s been working towards for all the years he’s been singing, but he doesn’t focus on that.

Instead, all Harry can focus on are the two boys right in the middle of the third row, yelling their loudest for him. Noah, clapping wildly, Louis with tears in his eyes, and Amelia no doubt watching at the hotel, even if it is far past her bedtime. He can’t wait to go home tonight, away from these cameras and the lights and these people that act like they know him, and just _be_ with his family. Be with the three people that give purpose to everything he does, the three most important people in his life.

What else could he possibly need?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed all this needless fluff, the next chapter is a biiiit more angsty :)
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287) | [tumblr](https://amories.tumblr.com)


	5. Zachary: part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Zachary.
> 
> Part one of two

It’s a few weeks till Christmas when Louis gets the call.

Snow is falling outside their living room window, and Harry is asleep on his chest. The kids went to bed hours ago and the two of them decided to have a movie night. Harry just got back from tour two days ago, and Louis is reveling in every small moment they spend together.

“Whassat?” Harry mumbles when Louis’ phone rings in front of them on the coffee table.

Louis hushes him and buries his hand in Harry’s curls, gently massaging his scalp. “Nothing, love,” he murmurs, letting the phone ring to voicemail.

Seconds later, though, it’s ringing again and Louis is worried. He reaches out as best he can without moving Harry too much and picks his phone up. He’s surprised to find it’s their social worker calling, Nadine. God knows why she’d be calling this late.

“Hello?”

“Oh, Louis,” Nadine breathes. “I’m sorry for calling so late, but I’m so glad you answered. Are you busy?”

Louis frowns and sits up, causing Harry to do the same. He blinks his eyes open and frowns at Louis, all pouty lips and mussed hair. Usually, Louis wouldn’t be able to resist kissing him, but his heart is beating fast. Something is wrong, he can tell from Nadine’s voice.

“What’s going on?” Harry whispers, obviously noticing Louis’ scared look.

Louis shrugs, and then says pointedly, “We’re not busy, Nadine, what’s going on?”

Harry’s eyes go wide at the sound of their social worker’s name and he quickly leans his head on Louis’ shoulder to listen in. It’s been a week since they spoke with her, a week since they started toying with the idea of adopting again. Neither of them thought it would be this quick, of course.

“I have a boy,” Nadine starts. “And you and Harry are the closest to us right now, but besides that you’re the only ones I think I’d really trust leaving him with.”

Louis frowns. “A boy?” he asks.

“His name is Zachary,” Nadine says, a paper crinkling in the background letting Louis know she’s reading this off to him. “I’m on my way to pick him up right now, he’s at the hospital with the police.”

Louis is only getting more concerned now, and Harry looks terrified.

“Nads, why is he at the hospital with the police?” Louis asks.

Nadine takes a deep breath and Louis turns his phone on speaker so it’s easier for the two of them to hear. “He’s five years old,” she starts. “I’m going through his file now, but from what I’ve seen it just seems like he’s fallen through the cracks. There’s been multiple calls to his house before, but they haven’t been able to prove much because he’s reluctant to talk. No one has followed up like they’re supposed to, and when their neighbors called in tonight about the screaming the police found him locked in a closet. God knows how long he’d been in there, but it’s obvious that his parents have been abusing him his entire life.”

There are tears in Harry’s eyes and Louis feels about there as well. He can’t imagine anyone doing that to a child, he can’t imagine how terribly scared this boy must be right now.

“What do you need us to do?” Louis asks, because he’s prepared to do anything.

“Well, he needs a foster for now,” Nadine sighs. “And if you’re interested, we can go from there. Between you and me, Louis, there is no doubt in my mind that his parents will lose custody. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a case this bad. They’re going to jail, and he needs somewhere to go that’s safe. I can try to find somewhere else, I know this probably isn’t what you had in mind when we spoke, but I think you and Harry could really help him. Even if it is just temporarily.”

Louis looks to Harry, because he knows what he’s thinking. He’s thinking there’s no way in hell he’s letting this boy go somewhere else, to anyone else. Harry nods back, reaching out to squeeze Louis’ hand tightly. They’re on the same page, then.

“Okay,” Louis breathes. “Okay, we’ll be waiting here for both of you.”

As soon as he hangs up, Harry jumps to his feet and runs his hands through his hair.

“I need to make coffee,” he says, his words quick and thick with tears. “We have to get ready, we have to-”

“Harry, baby,” Louis whispers, standing up as well and pulling Harry into his arms. “Calm down, it’s going to be okay.”

Harry rests his head on Louis’ shoulder and sniffles. “What if he can’t stay?” he whispers. “Lou, what if Nadine is wrong, what if they take him back there-”

“He needs us for tonight, H. We can deal with everything else later,” Louis replies, although he finds himself facing the same fears.

They make the coffee, jolting themselves awake while they wait in their kitchen for the knock at the door. Louis is practically shaking, partially from nerves, partially from the two cups he’s just downed. Harry looks about as bad off, and he keeps staring into nothingness, biting at the skin on his finger like he does when he’s nervous.

Nadine shows up a half hour later, though it feels like an eternity. She knocks on the door quietly, and Harry and Louis look at one another before going to open it. This is one of those moments, Louis realizes, one of those big moments in his life that they’ll both always remember.

When Louis opens the door, he almost misses Zachary entirely. He’s there, though, hiding behind Nadine’s leg and peeking at them with big brown eyes. He’s terribly small, short and skinny as a toothpick. Despite the fact that it’s freezing out he’s wearing only a large white t-shirt with holes in it that hangs down around his knees, and flip flops. Nadine seems to have loaned him her coat, which is sweeping the ground around his feet. His hair is so blond it’s almost white, and his skin is just as dangerously pale, as if he hasn’t seen the sun once in his life.

What’s worse than any of that, though, are the bruises. They’re all over his small body, mottling the skin on his legs and face, some old and some new, and Louis realizes there must be more hiding behind the coat.

“Louis,” Nadine greets. “Harry, I’m sorry for calling so late.

“No, it’s fine,” Louis is quick to say, and Harry agrees. He then looks back down to Zachary who is shivering and quickly backs up. “Come in, please, it’s freezing out there.”

Nadine gently leads Zachary inside, one hand resting lightly on his shoulder. He’s taking in their house with wide eyes, looking at everything while still trying to hide behind Nadine’s leg. He must be terrified, Louis thinks, having this much change happen in such a short amount of time.

“Zachary,” Nadine says, once they’re both safely inside and the door is shut. “This is Harry and Louis, remember I told you about them? You’re going to stay here with them for the night, they’re going to take care of you.”

Zachary looks from Harry to Louis before shrugging his shoulders and looking up at Nadine. “Kitty?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Nadine nods and reaches into her bag, coming out with a dirty looking stuffed pink cat. Zachary snatches it up and sniffles into its fur, burying his head into its neck. Louis’ heart breaks, but Harry seems a bit more put together. He kneels down in front of the boy, smiling at him kindly.

“Hello, Zachary,” he whispers. “I’m Harry, and this is Lou. That’s a very pretty toy you have.”

Zachary shrugs again, looking down at his cat. “Kitty,” he says.

Louis smiles and gets down on his knees beside Harry as well. “Hi Kitty,” he says, reaching out to shake the cat’s stuffed paw. Zachary giggles, so quietly Louis almost doesn’t hear him. “It’s very nice to meet you both. Are you hungry, Zachary? Maybe we can have Harry make us some dinner.”

It’s obviously far too late to have dinner, but Louis can’t ignore how skinny Zachary is. At the mention of food, his eyes light up.

“Cereal?” he whispers.

Harry perks up at that and smiles at Louis. “A boy after your own heart,” he teases. “You can absolutely have cereal if that’s what you want, love. Louis here has a collection of it in the kitchen.”

Nadine smiles down at the three of them before motioning Louis over towards the stairs to talk.

“He’s been cleared by the doctor, but he has a bruised rib and some stitches on his stomach that you’ll need to bring him in to check up on. I have his medicine here for you, along with his file and the date of his next doctor’s appointment. I won’t have a trial date until tomorrow, but they might need me to come and get a statement from him for the court.”

Louis listens to Nadine’s whispering while also keeping his eye on Zachary. Harry is talking to him in that way he has, keeping his voice calm and trying to make himself appear as small as possible. He’s always been so good with children, Louis thinks proudly, and he’s even got Zachary to smile a bit.

Nadine sighs and reaches out to rub Louis’ shoulder when she catches him watching Zachary. “He just needs to take it easy for a while, Lou, have a good Christmas and a warm bed for once.”

Louis smiles as best he can and nods. “Yeah, I know. Thank you, Nadine, I promise we’ll take care of him.”

“I know you will,” she says. “I’ll call you in the morning once I have more information, we can go over your options.”

Louis thanks her before seeing her out to her car. Harry gets Nadine’s coat off of Zachary’s shoulders, and he has bruises all over his arms just as Louis suspected. He looks even smaller now, without the added weight of the coat. Without really thinking about it, Louis walks over to the boy and moves to pick him up.

Zachary flinches away violently, like he’s expecting Louis to hit him. Louis’ eyes go wide and he takes a giant step back.

“Zachary, hey,” Harry murmurs, kneeling at his side once more. “Remember what I told you? We don’t ever hurt each other in this house, ever. No one is ever going to hurt you again, darling, I promise. You don’t have to be scared, we’re here to protect you.”

Zachary sniffles and looks up at Louis. “Hurts,” he explains in a whisper. “My tummy.”

“Your tummy hurts?” Louis asks, frowning in concern. “It still hurts after you’ve been to the doctor?”

Zachary nods, biting at his lip nervously. “Uh huh. I’m sorry.”

“Love, don’t be sorry,” Louis says, kneeling down again. “You don’t need to apologize for being hurt, yeah? I want you to tell me when you’re hurt so Harry and I can fix it. Can I see your tummy? I promise, no touching, I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

Zachary bites his lip, looking between the two of them hesitantly before carefully lifting up his shirt. There are even more dark bruises here, so many that barely any of his skin seems to peek through. As Nadine said, he has a small set of stitches just above his hip, but they don’t look pulled as Louis was worried they might have.

“Got ouchies,” Zachary murmurs, and Louis has to look away before he starts to cry.

“Okay,” he breathes, trying to pull himself together for Harry and Zachary. “Okay, Miss Nadine gave me some medicine for you that’ll make it better, darling. Harry and I are going to take care of everything, yeah? No more ouchies, I promise.”

When Louis reaches out again, slower this time, Zachary doesn’t flinch. Instead, he looks at Louis for a moment as if judging whether or not this is safe. Finally, he steps forward and lets Louis carefully pick him up. He smiles when Louis stands up, gripping Louis’ shoulder in one hand.

“Tall,” he giggles.

Louis laughs right back. “I think that may be the first time I’ve ever been called tall, darling, thank you very much.”

Harry follows the two of them into the kitchen, focusing on his socked feet while Louis sets Zachary up at the kitchen island with a big bowl of cereal. As soon as he sets it down, Harry tugs him away by his elbow.

“Louis,” he whispers, eyes glassy. “I can’t do this.”

Louis reaches out, gently brushing Harry’s curls over his ear. “Baby, what?” he murmurs.

A tear escapes Harry’s eyes and Louis brushes it away just as quickly as it came. “He’s so little,” Harry whispers. “And so tiny, too tiny, and sweet. How could anyone hurt him? He’s just a baby.”

They both look over to find Zachary eating his cereal like he hasn’t eaten in days-which Louis doesn’t want to think about, actually. He’s so tiny, just as Harry said. It’s going to be ages before he’s healthy again, before his injuries heal and he starts looking less like a skeleton and more like a child.

“We have to help him, Harry,” Louis whispers back, because there’s no way he’s letting Zachary go now.

“I know, that’s not what I’m saying,” Harry sniffles. “I just…I couldn’t ever send him back. We can’t let him go back there, Louis, ever. He can’t go back-I can’t handle this.”

Louis’ heart hurts at Harry’s words. It’s been awhile since Louis has seen Harry so upset, and he can’t help but feel the same way. “Baby, he sighs, leaning up to kiss him gently. “I know, okay? I know, and I understand how you’re feeling, but we can’t focus on ourselves right now. We have to take it just one day at a time. He needs us right now, so we’ll be what he needs right now. I know you can do it, baby, you’re always so strong for us.”

Harry looks back over at Zachary before nodding and taking a moment to just rest his forehead on Louis’ shoulder. “He’s just a baby,” he whispers, fingers digging into Louis’ sides.

Louis closes his own eyes for a moment and hugs Harry back, trying to compose himself.

“We’ll get the bed guards out and put him in the bedroom next to Noah’s,” Louis says. “Noah has some old clothes upstairs that would probably fit him, do you mind getting them? I want him wearing something that’ll keep him warm tonight.”

Harry nods and pulls back to kiss him. “I love you,” he whispers. “We’ve got this.”

“We’ve got this,” Louis agrees.

With that, Harry goes off upstairs to get the room ready while Louis finds a place to leave Zachary’s file for the night and readies the next dose of his medicine. Zachary finishes his cereal and Louis gladly pours him another bowl after giving him the medicine that’ll hopefully dull his stomach pain. Zachary seems much calmer now, but he keeps his cat close by, rubbing its ears between his fingers.

Once he’s done eating, Louis leads the boy over to the living room where they wait for Harry. As stealthily as he can, Louis sets Zachary up near the fireplace to hopefully chase away any chill left in him.

“Mister Louis?” Zachary says.

Louis winces and shakes his head. “How about Lou, just for now darling?”

“Lou,” Zachary repeats with a little smile. “Lou, and Harry?”

Louis nods. “And Harry,” he repeats. “Harry’s coming back soon with some clothes for you. Would you like that? Something comfy for you to wear to bed, it’s very late love.”

Zachary grins and nods. “Comfy,” he repeats, and Louis can feel himself falling in love with this boy bit by bit.

Zachary looks around their living room, taking in everything from the telly that’s been left on to the Christmas tree in the corner. He smiles when his eyes land there, the lights leaving shadows on his skin. It’s overly decorated, thanks to Amelia and Noah, but Louis loves it. They’ve only had it up for two days, but it already has the room feeling and smelling like the holidays.

“Pretty,” Zachary says. “For Christmas?”

Louis nods. “Yes, darling, it’s only a few weeks away now. What would you like from Santa, have you thought it over?”

In an instant, Zachary is frowning again. “Nothing,” he says, quite serious. “No presents.”

Louis sighs. “We’ll work on it,” he decides.

Right on time, Harry comes down the stairs with a set of pajamas that Zachary will fit into easily. He looks so happy and grateful for the simple pair of thermal pajamas with dinosaurs on them that Louis could cry. Zachary carefully runs his hands over the arms and legs when Harry asks if he likes them, seemingly shocked by the fact that they’re for him.

After he changes, and Louis tosses his old shirt and flip flops in the bin, they head upstairs together. Louis gets one of the toothbrushes they save in case they have a guest and Zachary very messily brushes his teeth, obviously not used to doing so. While he brushes, Louis doesn’t miss the way his eyes keep flickering to the container where Amelia’s bows are stored in a flurry of sparkles and pastels.

Harry apparently notices as well.

“Would you like one?” he asks, taking the container down from the shelf and offering it to the boy. “Any color you like, you can have.”

Zachary bites his lip, looking from Harry to Louis skeptically. “Hurts?” he asks.

“No,” Louis says quickly. “No sweetheart, absolutely not. If you want ribbons, you can have as many ribbons as you like.”

Still, Zachary looks nervous. He looks over the container for a moment before saying, “Purple, for Kitty.”

Harry nods and reaches into the container, fishing out a purple bow clip that he snaps onto the stuffed cat’s ear. Zachary giggles and brushes his fingers over it.

“Kitty looks quite handsome,” Louis says. “Would you like one for your hair too?”

Zachary looks scared once more, but nods. “Pink?” he whispers.

Harry smiles at him and reaches in once more, coming out with a sparkling clip with a pink bow glued on. He carefully twists up some of Zachary’s downy soft hair and clips it in. Zachary blushes and turns to look at himself in the mirror, reaching up to run his hand over the bow.

“Thank you,” he says softly, and he grins when he sees both Harry and Louis beaming at him.

Zachary walks with them to the guest room beside Noah’s room. Harry’s put the guard rails on the bed and Zachary looks shocked when he steps inside.

“This will be your room,” Louis explains, walking over to flip on the lamp in the corner. “You can leave this light on if you want, darling, and we have extra blankets for you if you’re cold.”

Zachary nods and walks over to the bed. He touches the duvet gently, and then gasps.

“Kitty!”

Louis looks over and laughs. “That’s Stanley, he’s our cat.”

“Our evil cat,” Harry mutters.

“Harold,” Louis says, walking over to kiss him. “Don’t bad mouth the cat.”

Zachary grins, eyes lingering on Harry and Louis for a moment before looking back at his bed. “Stanley,” he repeats slowly, carefully sounding out every part. “Hello.”

Stanley yawns and closes his eye, all of his limbs stretched out so he’s taking up most of the bed. Still, Zachary seems ecstatic just seeing a real cat. He doesn’t seem too concerned that Stanley is quite lazy or that he always looks a bit murderous, even when half asleep.

Harry helps Zachary up into the bed. The boy gets under the covers and reaches out to hesitantly pet Stanley. As he usually does when faced with a child, Stanley turns into a pile of purring mush. He walks across the bed until he’s snuggled in close to Zachary’s side and purrs happily. Zachary giggles and Louis’ heart skips a beat.

“We’re right down the hall if you need us, right where I showed you,” Harry says to him, gently running his hand over Zachary’s hair. “If you need anything at all, come and get us sweetheart.”

Zachary nods and carefully moves so he’s laying down with the covers pulled up to his shoulders. Stanley stretches out and gently lays his head down beside where Zachary has put Kitty under the covers. Louis walks over and tucks Zachary in, making sure he’s comfortable before whispering to him.

“Goodnight, darling. Sweet dreams.”

Zachary smiles and closes his eyes. “Night night,” he mumbles, already sounding half asleep. “Thank you.”

Louis switches off the lights so only the lamp is left on, and leaves the door half open. Harry wraps his arms around Louis’ waist and they stand for a moment in the hallway outside Zachary’s room.

“I forgot sometimes how lucky we are,” Harry whispers against Louis’ neck. “To have our family, our babies.”

Louis nods and rubs Harry’s back. “Me too, darling. I love you so much, you did amazing with him.”

“You did too, you always know what to do.”

Louis laughs at that, because it certainly never feels that way. “I never know what I’m doing, baby, I just trust my instinct.”

“Well, you’re the best at it,” Harry says. “Do you remember what you said to me, way back when we were talking about being foster parents the first time?”

Louis nods and smiles at the memory. It feels so long ago now, like a lifetime. “I said that you’d just end up adopting them all,” he murmurs. “And that I wouldn’t be much better.”

“We can’t let him go back there,” Harry says. “We can’t let him down.”

Louis sighs and presses a kiss to Harry’s temple. “We won’t, love. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!! Happy New Year!!! Or belated Christmas!! Or something!!!!!
> 
> But seriously, this is so long overdue, and not even entirely what I wanted to post, but I felt like I owed you all something to ring in the New Year. I wanted to say thank you for over 2000 kudos on Mess (I still don't quite believe that). To everyone who has read, left kudos, commented, sent me messages on tumblr, or included it in any kind of recommendation-I love you, and it means more than you could ever know. I started 2017 completely discouraged and ready to give up on writing and I ended it admittedly a bit drunk, but so excited for all that I have planned for 2018.
> 
> Thank you so much. I'll see you soon.
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287) | [tumblr](https://amories.tumblr.com)


	6. Zachary: part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Zachary.
> 
> Part two of two

Louis wakes up in the middle of the night to find Zachary laying at the end of their bed, curled in a ball with Kitty tucked under his chin. Louis sighs and reaches down to carefully lift the boy up and put him in between himself and Harry. Zachary squirms a bit and whimpers, but doesn’t wake up, so Louis promptly goes back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up, it’s to Noah poking him in the nose.

“Dad,” he says when Louis finally blinks his eyes open. “Why’s there a baby in here?”

Louis groans and shakes his head, shooing Noah’s hands away from him. “Good morning to you too, love,” he whispers. “That’s Zachary, he’s going to be staying with us for a while.”

Noah frowns and looks the boy over. Zachary is sound asleep in Noah’s old pajamas, just inches away from Harry’s back. He’s still holding his stuffed cat close, little nose pressed to the fur.

“He looks like he got hurt,” Noah says, eying the bruises on Zachary’s neck.

Louis sits up against the headboard, careful not to wake either of the boys. “Noah,” he starts. “We have to be very kind and gentle with him, yeah? His parents were very mean to him, and he’s going to be staying here while they decide what happens next.”

Even Louis isn’t sure who he’s referring to when he says _they_. The powers that be, maybe, the people that decide whether or not Zachary stays or goes. Louis wishes so badly it were only up to him and not a complicated mess of court systems and agencies. He wishes he could just take every kid like Zachary and keep them safe-and he realizes that’s impossible, but Zachary seems like a perfect place to start.

“Okay,” Noah replies, looking suddenly very serious. “I’ll protect him, like I protect my Melia. Is he gonna be up soon? Papa and I can make him pancakes, those always make me feel better.”

Louis smiles and reaches out to pull Noah in for a hug. “You’re so wonderful, darling,” he murmurs, thinking of all the awful things he read in Zachary’s file last night. The thought of any child having to go through that has him feeling a bit more protective of his babies than he’d normally be. “Do you know how much I love you?”

“Yeah,” Noah sighs back, hugging Louis tightly. “I love you too, Daddy.”

Louis hears rustling beside him and looks back to find Harry rolling over. He smiles at them and sighs out, “My boys.”

“Papa,” Noah gasps. “You’re up, we gotta make breakfast for Zachary.”

Harry nods and sits up, scrubbing at his hair. “Okay,” he murmurs. “Come on bean, I can hear Amelia jumping in her cot.”

Noah grins and takes off running, no doubt on his way to Amelia’s room. Harry pauses for a moment, just long enough to lean across the bed and kiss Louis.

“Is he okay?” he asks, looking down to where Zachary is still fast asleep, clip barely hanging from his hair.

“Scared, I think,” Louis replies, suppressing the urge to pull the boy close to him. “I’ll stay up here with him, I don’t want him to be alone when he wakes up.”

Harry nods and kisses him once more, morning breath and all. “Breakfast in bed, then,” he decides.

With that, Harry rolls out of bed and goes to find Noah before their son can attempt to drag Amelia out of her cot himself again. Louis stays where he is, setting himself up against the headboard with his laptop so he can get some work done and email the office to let them know he’ll be working from home for a few days. It’s a bit short notice, but it’s been so quiet lately that no one seems to mind much.

Even from all the way upstairs, Louis can hear Harry and the kids downstairs. Music is playing and Noah is singing along, Amelia babbling her own words in now and then. Louis can’t help but smile at the sound, can’t help but think about how incredibly lucky he is. He wonders if months from now it might be Zachary down there with them, singing along.

Zachary stirs with a moan and Louis pauses everything to watch him. The boy’s face scrunches up and then he’s blinking his dark brown eyes open to look around. Louis watches the moment he seems to remember where he is, the way comfort seems to settle through him to replace the defensive stiffness in his bones.

“Zachary, hey,” Louis whispers, smiling when the boy looks at him. “Good morning, darling. How are you feeling?”

Zachary sits up a bit and winces. “M’hungry,” he whispers, and then immediately looks sorry for saying it.

“That’s good,” Louis replies, wanting him to know that asking for what he wants isn’t a bad thing. “Harry’s downstairs making us breakfast. Do you like pancakes, love?”

Zachary sort of shrugs and whispers, “Dunno”.

“That’s okay, if you don’t like the pancakes we can find you something else,” Louis promises. “My son Noah and my daughter Amelia are here as well. Would you like to meet them?”

Zachary looks terrified, holding on to Kitty a little tighter. “Okay,” he replies, though it’s quite obvious it is not okay.

“There’s nothing to be scared of,” Louis whispers back. “I promise, babe, no one is ever going to hurt you here. Noah’s so excited to meet you, and Amelia’s only a baby.”

Zachary’s eyebrows go up a bit at that. “A baby?” he asks.

“She’ll be turning two soon,” Louis announces proudly. “She loves bows just like you, I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to share with you.”

Zachary goes red at that. “She’s a girl, and I’m a boy. It’s not good to like bows.” he says, his voice hard. It’s obvious he’s repeating back something someone’s told him, and Louis is enraged in an instant.

“That’s not true,” Louis replies. “Not at all, love. Just because you’re a boy doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to like bows, or pink, or anything like that. Harry loves pink, that doesn’t make him any less of a boy. Do you like being a boy?”

Zachary nods at that, hiding his face against Kitty’s fur. “I’m a boy,” he says, sounding quite sure. “Just like pink, and Kitty.”

“Alright then,” Louis replies, putting a gentle hand on Zachary’s shoulder. “You’re a boy, and you can have as much ribbon as you want. It isn’t bad to want that, and it doesn’t make you bad either.”

There’s a much deeper conversation that needs to be had here, Louis realizes that, but it isn’t the time. Zachary is already stressed enough, and Louis can hear Noah running down the hall laughing. Louis leaves the topic, deciding to talk with Harry about it later on.

The door slams open so hard it scares Zachary, but he looks less frightened when he sees the energetic eight-year-old standing there. It’s obvious he’s still unsure, but Noah isn’t exactly scary with his cartoon pajamas still on and curls to his shoulders.

Noah is still laughing when he says, “Dad, Amelia got batter _everywhere_. Papa told me not to tell you, so I came to tell.”

“I’ve raised you so well,” Louis teases. “Noah love, come and meet Zachary.”

Noah grins and walks the rest of the way over to the bed. “Hi,” he says, boisterous as ever. “I’m Noah. Can I call you Zach?”

Zachary’s eyes are a bit wide, but he nods.

Noah nods back and then says, “I like your cat. I’ve got a bunch of dinosaurs, only I’m too old to play with those anymore. We can probably play together, though, even if it is a baby thing.”

“Noah,” Louis sighs.

Zachary doesn’t look too offended by what Noah’s said, however, and quickly replies, “Her name’s Kitty. Do you like pink?”

Noah shrugs. “Green’s my favorite color, like Dad, but pink’s nice too. Do you like pink?”

Zachary nods. “Pink’s my favorite,” he says, his voice sounding far less shaky.

“That’s really cool,” Noah says, and it’s such a little thing but it makes Zachary beam with pride.

Through the door, Louis can see Harry approaching with a huge tray of food in hand. Amelia’s toddling after him, breaking into a run when she sees Louis and giving him a wide gap-toothed smile.

“Daddy up!” she shrieks, crashing into the bed.

“Look at you go, sweet girl,” Harry coos. “Soon you’ll be outrunning Daddy.”

Louis laughs, mostly because it’s true. It seemed like she went right from crawling to running, always on the move. He attributes that to her wanting to keep up with Noah, despite their age difference. She loves nothing more than trailing after her big brother, even though Noah sometimes gets a bit sick of it.

“If she outruns me who’s supposed to get her dressed in the mornings?” Louis asks. “We’ll have a naked baby running around.”

Amelia squeals like that makes perfect sense to her. Noah picks her up under her armpits, carefully lifting her onto the bed. She crawls across the duvet and sits down in front of Zachary, looking over the boy who’s stolen her father’s attention away.

“Zachary, this is Amelia.”

Zachary nods and says, “Hi.”

Amelia squeals her hello and reaches over to pet the soft cat. “Kitty,” she says, sounding quite sure of herself.

“That’s her name, she is Kitty,” Zachary says, and if Louis isn’t mistaken he sounds excited that someone understands.

“Daddy, it’s kitty,” Amelia giggles, looking up at Louis for a response.

Louis pretends he knows why that’s so funny and smiles back at her. “Of course, sunshine, it’s hilarious.”

Amelia nods and pats the toy again. “Papa,” she says. “I wan’ food.”

“So demanding, just like her dad,” Harry teases. “I’ve got your food, babes, but we all have to promise we aren’t spilling anything on the duvet. Promise?”

“Promise!” Noah yells. Amelia babbles something that sounds like it could be a promise, and that seems okay enough for Harry.

The two men carefully arrange everything on their huge bed so everyone has enough space to eat and hopefully not get syrup everywhere. Noah is negotiating with Harry about what they should do today, and Amelia has taken her spot right beside Louis, babbling a song she’s made up on the spot. Zachary watches everyone with wide eyes, and eats more pancakes than Louis can count.

“You’re nice,” he says to Louis later, once they’ve started to clean up. “I can stay here with you?”

“If you feel safe, you can absolutely stay,” Louis replies.

Zachary grins and promptly stuffs his face down into Kitty’s fur to hide it.

 

* * *

 

Louis is still in his good clothes he wore to court when Harry finds him sitting outside. He’s in their back garden, sitting in a chair and staring at nothing. He’s smoking, Harry realizes with a start. He can’t even remember the last time he saw Louis smoking.

“Where did you get that?” Harry asks, shutting the sliding door behind himself.

Louis shrugs but doesn’t turn around, taking a long drag of the cigarette. “Emergency stash,” he says, smoke pouring out with his words.

Harry frowns “How long have you had an emergency stash?”

“I dunno,” Louis says, a blatant lie if Harry’s ever heard one.

Harry takes the chair beside Louis’ and sits facing him. “Lou-”

“We have bigger fucking problems than me smoking right now, Harry,” Louis snaps. “Leave it.”

Harry frowns. “Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but that does not make it okay.”

Louis cringes, as if realizing how awful he’s being, and looks down. He takes one last drag before dropping the cigarette. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, dropping his head into his hands. “God, H. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that, I’m so sorry.”

Harry nods. “Okay. Do you want to talk about what’s got you out here in the freezing cold, crying and smoking?”

“You were there too,” Louis says. “You know why I’m upset. You heard everything I heard, you fucking-you had to look at them too, knowing what they did to him. To Zachary. Why am I the only one breaking down?”

Harry sighs and closes his eyes for a moment. “You aren’t,” he replies. “I’m breaking down too, I just think I’ve always been a bit quieter about it than you.”

When he opens his eyes, he finds Louis staring at him. They look at one another for a moment, saying nothing, and then Louis is whispering, “Come here?”

Harry goes, folding himself up into Louis’ arms and closing his eyes. He smells like cologne and smoke, and it takes Harry back years in the blink of an eye. Things were so much simpler then, and they hadn’t even known it.

“I can’t stop thinking about the pictures,” Louis whispers. “I can’t stop seeing them when I close my eyes. I can’t stop seeing their fucking faces. I want them dead, Harry, and I’m not even joking anymore. It’s terrifying to want anyone dead, to be this angry, but I want them to suffer for hurting our baby.”

Harry holds on to Louis even tighter, because he feels the same. He can’t stop seeing the close up pictures of Zachary’s injuries, the x-rays, the photos of the house he’d been living in, the closet they’d stuffed him in. Pictures of how malnourished he is, his little bones sticking out where they shouldn’t be.

And the things they had said. The things Zachary had said, the things he’d told the psychologist who testified on his behalf. They starved him, and beat him, and all he wants is to stay with Harry and Louis. He had said that, over and over. _I want to stay. Don_ _’t make me go back._

Zachary’s only been with them a week. A week full of nightmares, crying, and misunderstandings, and yet Harry loves him. Harry can’t imagine letting anyone take him away again, their gentle boy.

Luckily it was an easy decision for the judge to give Harry and Louis full custody of Zachary. His biological parents are in for years of court battles for what they’d done, but in a few months when all the paperwork is finished, Zachary will be officially theirs. It should’ve been a happy day, but it was the complete opposite.

“He’s only a baby,” Louis whispers. “Only five. I just-I keep thinking about Noah at that age. How excited he was for everything, how in love he was with the world. I want that for Zachary, but I’m scared of messing up. I’m so scared, Harry, what if I’m not good enough?”

“Louis,” Harry murmurs, pressing his lips to Louis’ temple. “Baby, you are more than good enough. You’re so strong, you’re doing so well with him. Neither of us are perfect, but we’re not going to stop trying. Are we?”

Louis sniffles and shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “No, I’m not. I won’t give up on him, H, I won’t.”

“Neither will I,” Harry promises. “It’s scary, Lou. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s sort of terrifying. But we can do this because we love him, and I love you, and we are going to support him no matter what.”

Louis nods. “We will,” he whispers. “I love you so much, H. I love you, I love our kids-I don’t think I’m grateful enough for what we have. For you, for our life.”

“I love you,” Harry replies.

Louis holds him tighter and then finally sighs. “I’m sorry for being an asshole to you,” he whispers. “I’ve had that box of fags for ages. They’ve just been hiding in one of my old jackets. You can flush them all if you want to.”

Harry laughs softly. “It just caught me off guard, that’s all. I haven’t seen you smoking in years.”

“I know,” Louis sighs. “It didn’t even feel as good as I thought it would.”

“Can’t say I’m too upset about that,” Harry teases, lifting his head and kissing Louis softly. “Let’s go to bed, yeah? You need some sleep.”

Louis nods and waits until Harry’s safely on the ground again to pull himself up. Harry takes his hand and squeezes before tugging him into the house. Everything is quiet, all of the kids safely asleep in their beds. They check in on the three of them before heading to bed, standing at Zachary’s door for a moment. He’s sound asleep for now, but Harry knows in a few hours he’ll no doubt come sniffling into their room, having been woken up with nightmares. 

“He’s okay,” Harry murmurs, pressing his lips to the back of Louis’ neck. “He’s going to be okay.”

It takes a moment for Harry realize he’s not just trying to convince Louis.

 

* * *

 

Louis is doing the dishes from lunch when he feels hands slip around his waist.

“Harold,” he says. “If you want these dishes done anytime soon, you’ll get your hands off of my waist.”

Harry laughs against his neck, nosing his way to kiss behind Louis’ ear. “You’re so cute,” he sighs. “You’re so domestic, feel like I’ve tamed you.”

“Tamed me?” Louis snorts. “I was domestic far longer than you were, darling.”

Harry just sighs and pulls Louis away from the sink. “Dance with me,” he says.

Louis smiles and lets Harry turn him around, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist and resting his chin on Harry’s sternum. He stares for a moment, taking in just how beautiful his husband looks right now before telling him so.

“You’re trying to trick me into not dancing with you,” Harry announces, his cheeks going a bit pink at Louis’ compliment. “But I refused to be tricked, Tomlinson.”

Louis laughs and Harry pulls away and walks into the living room. He stops at the record player and flicks through the record before putting one on. The vinyl pops and then Adele is crackling through the speakers. Louis immediately starts laughing even harder.

“You’re making me dance to this, Harry, really?”

Harry smiles and walks back over, pulling Louis in by the waist. He starts swaying side to side, burying his head against Louis’ neck and kissing him there.

“I’ve got soap hands,” Louis warns him.

“I don’t mind,” Harry sighs.

Louis eventually gives in and lets Harry lead him around the kitchen in slow circles. Harry leans forward and carefully kisses between Louis’ eyebrows, drawing down to kiss his cheekbone, to kiss his lips.

“God,” he breathes. “How did I get so lucky?”

Louis smiles back. “I don’t know,” he teases. “I’m really the best part of your life.”

And even though he’s teasing, Harry looks terribly serious.

“You are,” Harry says. “You and my babies, Lou.”

Louis rests his head on Harry’s shoulder and closes his eyes. They sway around in circles, the music playing softly in the background. God knows how long they’ve stay there, Harry humming into Louis’ throat, Louis holding him tight. And then the floorboard creaks and Louis blinks his eyes open.

Zachary is standing in the doorway, watching the two of them dance with wide eyes. Louis smiles at him.

“Hi, darling,” he says.

Zachary clutches Kitty closer to his chest, looking a bit disheveled from the nap he’s been taking. “What’re you doin’?”

“We’re dancing, love,” Harry replies.

“Why?”

Harry just shrugs. “Because we’re in love,” he says.

The smallest hint of a smile appears on Zachary’s face. “In love?”

“That’s right,” Louis sighs, smiling at Harry. “We’re in love.”

Zachary walks closer to them, looking the two men up and down. “I know,” he says. “Because you’re happy, not mad all the time. That’s love.”

“It’s part of love, babe,” Louis agrees. “You think we’re happy?”

“Uh huh,” Zachary says. “Not like Dada or Mum. You’re in love, and you love us too. No yelling, no hurting.”

Louis nods quite seriously. “That’s right, my darling. No yelling, no hurting, only dancing.”

Zachary looks at the two of them again for a moment. It’s so hard, Louis thinks, not to just pick him up and baby him constantly. Their therapist thinks it’s best if Zachary’s able to ask for that for now, since he’s obviously not comfortable with touching when it isn’t on his terms. And of course Louis understands that, but the urge to pick him up and shower him in love is almost overwhelming.

Which is why when Zachary asks, “Can I dance too?” Louis jumps at the idea.

“Of course, love,” Harry replies with a grin. “Come here.”

Harry picks Zachary up and holds him between himself and Louis. Zachary giggles, holding on tight to Harry’s neck like he might be dropped. Kitty ends up squished between their chests while Zachary sits between Louis and Harry’s.

It’s a bit awkward, but Harry manages to lead them in a makeshift dance, spinning faster and faster until Zachary is actually laughing. Louis realizes with a start that in the three weeks he’s been with them, he hasn’t once heard Zachary laugh like that.

He’s never seen the boy so happy and Louis can’t help but laugh right back, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Zachary’s laughs turn to giggles and he turns to hug Louis while Harry leads them in a bad attempt at a waltz.

“M’happy too,” he whispers in Louis’ ear.

It’s more than Louis could’ve ever wished to hear.

 

* * *

 

Christmas arrives with Noah slamming their door open and running as fast as he can across the room to gain enough momentum to dive into their bed. He lands on Louis’ leg, leaning on Harry’s waist, and immediately starts yelling.

“Dad!” he shouts. “Papa, wake up! It’s Christmas, wake up!”

Louis groans and rolls over to face Harry. When he opens his eyes, he finds his husband looking back at him, equally exhausted. They were up all night putting out the presents and assembling the little playhouse they bought the kids for the garden. Harry smiles though, as tired as he is, and Louis smiles back.

“Happy Christmas, my darling,” Louis murmurs, leaning forward to kiss him.

“Happy Christmas, old man,” Harry replies with a smirk.

Louis makes a face and Noah laughs.

“You’re not _that_ old, Daddy.”

Louis snorts and rolls his eyes. “Well thank you, love, that certainly makes me feel better,” he says, groaning as he sits up. Maybe he is getting old, he thinks, listening to the way his back cracks when he’s finally upright.

Noah jumps out of the bed and calls over his shoulder, “I’m gonna get Zach and Melia!”

With that, he goes running out of the room again just as fast as he had appeared. Louis can hear him down the hall, waking Zachary up as gently as he can. He’s been so wonderful with Zachary, and he’d come to Louis quite concerned a few days before.

“Zachary is staying with us forever, right?” he’d asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes, love, he is,” Louis had replied, quite matter of fact. It’s a fact he sometimes has to repeat to himself, especially when he has nightmares about Zachary’s biological parents taking him away.

Noah had nodded and then said. “Good, only cause I can’t protect him if he’s not here. It’s really good having a little brother, Dad, you were right.”

Louis never could’ve imagined how well Noah would take to Zachary. He’s taken to leading his new brother around by the hand, fingers intertwined so Zachary knows he’s right there. That’s how they walk into the room, hands squeezed together, Hank and Kitty in their respective arms. Despite Noah’s protests that dinosaurs are really only something babies like, he and Zachary sometimes spend hours at a time playing with them.

“Dad, Papa,” Noah says, quite seriously. “It’s Zach’s first Christmas, you gotta get up!”

Harry groans and pushes himself up. He’s shirtless and tired, hair sticking up in places, and he looks positively gorgeous. Louis’ little rockstar who hasn’t been much of one lately, who spends most of his days with Louis and their kids, sacrificing everything he can for them.

Louis leans across the bed to kiss him once more, laughing when Noah starts groaning.

“ _Dads_ , I’m serious.”

Harry laughs against Louis’ skin, reaching out to run a thumb over his husband’s cheek. “Oh, did you hear that? Your son is quite serious now.”

“Why’s he only my son when he’s being bratty?” Louis asks.

Harry raises his eyebrows. “You know exactly why.”

With that, Harry kisses his cheek and gets out of bed to follow the boys. Zachary stays behind, letting go of Noah’s hand to wait for Louis.

“C’mon, Daddy,” he says, his voice soft and innocent as always. “It’s Christmas.”

Louis swears that his heart could burst right there. Zachary’s never called him that before. It’s been _Louis_ or _Lou_ for the past month now, neither he nor Harry wanting to push anything on him that he isn’t ready for. He looks so sure of it though, still waiting patiently for Louis in the doorway, Kitty dangling in one hand.

Louis walks over and picks him up, letting Zachary lay on his shoulder. “I love you, darling,” Louis whispers to him. “Are you excited to see what you got?”

Zachary nods, squeezing his arms around Louis’ shoulders. “I’m excited,” he confirms. “I love you too.”

Louis feels like he could cry but holds it back somehow. “Come on, darling. You have so many presents to open. Papa’s going to make you take a picture with every single one, he’s sappy like that.”

Zachary just giggles, the sound just as soft and sweet as he is. Louis holds him a little tighter, thinking that no matter whatever ridiculous thing Harry’s gotten him today, he has the best present he ever could’ve asked for right in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mess turns 3 today! In honor of this very special birthday, I decided that instead of a cake an update might do better. 
> 
> I just wanted to say thank you again for everyone who supported me on this crazy ride, and everyone who continues to support me. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter, and I promise more fluff is coming soon! xx
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/amoriess/playlist/5WV8aJm2nuXS8YT9D7k287) | [tumblr](https://amories.tumblr.com)


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